goldfish

Someone with an extremely short memory, or one who is extremely absentminded.

Derives from the evolutionary defense mechanism of the American Goldfish in order to stave off insanity due to boredom: "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"

"Damn...That Sue never learns... She just does the same dumb shit over and over again like a goldfish."

by SueLowe October 9, 2005

goldfish

1. A popular pet often kept in bowls (which they shouldn't, that's bad for them) and often thought of as having a 3 second memory, though this is a myth, because in reality goldfish have a longer memory than you do.

2. The snack that smiles back.

3. People that have a super short memory, originating from the myth that goldfish have a 3 second memory (which they don't)

1:

SMART son:"Mom, I found a goldfish!"
Mom: "Ok, keep it in your bowl"
SMART son: "FUCK YOU YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT TAKING CARE OF GOLDFISH"

2:

"I had some goldfish yesterday. I wonder why it was smiling at me even though it was gonna die and get digested and turn into shit."

3:

SMART daughter: "Dad, look at that goldfish!"
Dad: "Oh, that's a person, not a goldfish!"
SMART daughter: "DUMBASS I WAS THINKING OF THE PERSON "

by Corey the best Definer July 20, 2016

goldfish ass tuna-faced bitch

"The bitchiest of bitches. Reserved for one who consistently whines, thinks themselves the best, and must be taken down a notch through the use of a sweet-ass insult."

Bro 1: "Hey man, did you see that nerd Tyler? He's always going on about how cool he is and he always yells at everyone."
Bro 2:"Yeah, he's a goldfish ass tuna-faced bitch."
Bro 1: "Woah, dude, I don't know if I would go that far."

by Gold fish ass tuna-faced bitch January 5, 2015

Goldfish NostrilBlaster

The insertion of a goldfish snack into one nostril, the free nostril is then covered, and with a large exhale the goldfish is blasted out from the nostril.

My Goldfish NostrilBlaster flew 5 feet!

by nostrilblaster#1 December 2, 2011

ur goldfish gay

Its worse than ur dog gay its terrible if you say it to a person they will shit them self immediately.

jess: ur dog gay

you: ur goldfish gay

jess : (shits herself and curls up in a ball and fucks off to mexico)

by shit.on.a.shingle December 9, 2019

e-tard conspiracy goldfish

An e-tard who insists on forwarding to everyone he knows any nonsense sent to him as long as it is somehow supposedly part of some form of conspiracy. Worse still, his memory is so short, he keeps sending it over and over again, believing it's new.

'This morning, I found that Paulie had sent that stupid story about how you're gonna get cancer if you turn your car AC on. AGAIN!'

'Third time this year. The guy's a fucking e-tard conspiracy goldfish...'

by Baba Aggie July 27, 2009

going goldfish

1 - When you continue to eat whatever is in front of you, even if you're not hungry.

2 - If you continue to feed a goldfish, it will keep eating and eating until it eventually dies.

1 - "You went goldfish on that pasta"
"I know, I think I'm going to explode"

2 - "Somebody get theses chips away from me before I go goldfish"

by Chris Branaman September 5, 2005