Colasante Salutation

Invented by the renowned social architect John Colasante, author of the Colasante Protocol (also on Urbandictionary.com), the Colasante Salutation (aka Okbye) is a way of expeditiously ending any call. as such it's a perfect bookend to the Colasante Protocol, which is about starting a call. This has especially become important since the pandemic, where it seems nobody seems to know how to say goodbye without dragging it out anymore.

The Colasante Salutation is quite simple: as soon as the conversation runs out of steam, you immediately say "Okbye", your partner reciprocates, and you both immediately hang up.

Pre-Colasante Salutation:
A: ...well that's interesting.
B: ...
A: ...
B: Well I guess I should get back to work | the kids | whatever
A: Yeah, I've got a ton of stuff to do too....
B: Alright, I guess I'll see you soon then
A: Yeah, it was nice catching up
B: Yes it was. Well... talk to you later.
A: Sure, see you soon.
B: Ok, uh, bye
A: bye
A + B: >click<

Post-Colasante Salutation
A: ...well that's interesting.
B: ...
A: ...
B: Okbye
A: OKbye
A + B: >click<

by Die Fledermaus September 26, 2022

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open-palm hand-clasp

What is sometimes a good idea to do when holdin' hands wif a pretty girl for da first time or two, particularly if (A) she is somewhat on da shy side, and/or (B) if she is considerably younger and/or smaller-statured than you, and so you don't want her to feel "pinioned" or "dominated". It simply involves your holdin' out yer gorilla-paws and cradling her slender delicate digits in yer palms, but not actually closing yer own fingers over hers, so that her hands are always "free". Usually da tentative-natured cutie will be so grateful for your gentle accommodating of her bashful uncertainty in this way that she will feel like "rewarding:" you by keeping her soft warm palms resting right there in yers for as long as you wish.

I employed da open-palm hand-clasp when I first tentatively romanced a slight-figured mid-teens sweetie-chick whom I'd known and played fun outdoor-games with ever since she was a cheerful smiley little girl; I guess my strategy worked, too, since she seemed totally "calm 'n' comfy" towards me, and never showed even the slightest inclination to lift away her shapely slender hands while she was sitting beside me on da couch. Plus most of her immediate family was home, as well, and they were also being super-friendly and warmly-welcoming to me while we were all sharing light casual conversation as a cohesive group, and so I actually felt like I was holding hands wif da whole family, not just wif Cute Daughter.

by QuacksO September 11, 2018

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inside-of-pocket hand-clasp

What ya do when ya wanna hold hands "skin-to-skin" wif yer hunnybunny while strolling around town together, but it's cold outside and so ya both have to wear gloves. What ya do is to simply "share" one pair of gloves between the two of you (put the left glove on your left hand and the right glove on yer companion's right hand), interlace the fingers of yer bare right hand with those of your sweetie's left hand, and then tuck your clasped hands inside your right jacket-pocket to keep both hands warm.

Doing da inside-of-pocket hand-clasp is usually okay for short periods of time, but eventually one or both of you may start to get a wrist-cramp from the slightly awkward grasp-angle, or your upper wrists may begin to get chilly from being partially exposed to the cold air. If the latter issue is the case, wearing a flock-lined pullover-hoodie can sometimes eliminate this discomfort, since this style of garment will usually have a nice long horizontal pocket that's specifically intended for "storing" your hands, and so you can both "burrow" your hands a lot "deeper" inside the jacket's thick cloth "tunnel" and thus have all of your wrist-skin covered.

by QuacksO October 22, 2018

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warm-waterfall clasp

A "past-heavenly" action --- comparable to a horseshoe-pillow neck-cradle --- to perform wif a hot chick; it involves nestling her against you while you're taking a shower together, and then dreamily holding each other in a loving embrace so dat da heated shower-water soothingly cascades down onto both of you at once.

Marshmallow-hearted stud: I love sharing a warm-waterfall clasp wif Tiffany; da prob is dat --- just like in da cases of a pillow-talk or a horseshoe-pillow neck-cradle --- it's hard for me to stay awake, since her ample warm soft chest-pillowz super-relax me and make me feel drowsy and contented. We therefore wait to do it till we're done bathing and are ready to towel off anyway, so dat we can then just sleepily step outta da shower and head straight to da bedroom, lie down naked, and doze off in each other's arms.

by QuacksO July 14, 2023

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