When an awkward turtle is insufficient for the awkwardity of the situation, one must "evolve" their awkward turtle into the Awkward Blastoise. This hand configuration uses the pointer and pinky finger of the top hand as Hydro Pumps to douse the situation.
While visiting his girlfriend's parents, Rob farted at the dinner table very loudly. The mom implemented the awkward turtle, but was immediately over-ruled by the dad's more appropriate use of the Awkward Blastoise in order to sufficiently encompass the awkwardity of the situation.
by Cypress A 106 April 24, 2009
by Blastoise King March 26, 2006
by Ballin Colin June 30, 2011
A term used to describe someone who exudes unstoppable energy and confidence, often handling challenges with the same overwhelming power and cool demeanor as the Pokémon Blastoise. Can also refer to someone who takes charge in tough situations, acting as the "tank" in a group dynamic.
Jake rolled up to the basketball court like a Big Man Blastoise, hitting three-pointers and blocking every shot like it was nothing.
by Space_turtle January 27, 2025
When you're fucking your retarded girlfriend as she is giving birth to your retarded baby, you scream "BLASTOISE, USE WATER CANNON" and you jizz at sonic speed, cutting the umbilical cord of the baby whilst also impregnating the retard with a new baby. French efficiency!
I am saving the huwhite race by doing a back to back French Blastoise on my retarded hispanic on ze pooblique spaeze.
by Pokeboi Kamasutra April 02, 2018
when you jizz in a woman and scream “Blastoise, use hydro pump!” while you shove a hose into her and turn it to full power
by Jess223 April 16, 2024