Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.

"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023

Jesus cable

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.

Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.

by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023

Jesus jazz

Christian rock performed in a megachurch (often by dudes whose 80's hair bands didn't make it big).

She's all into Jesus jazz and bible study.

by whittlesshittlestendervittles December 30, 2012

Jesus Alvarez

a cute boy , usually Hispanic popular' you are not worth his time unless your nice or you earn it he seems mean but is really sweet and kind he is competitive good hair athletic usually plays a sport like football or wrestling is awesome with babies and loves them short dosent weigh much but still super cute he has a bit of a bubble butt usually kinda dumb cause he can't realize the perfect girl is right in front of him

Girl A: Man you are so lucky to be dating Jesus Alvarez

Girl B: ikr he is so sweet but it took some time for him to like me but he is amazing

by hiramlodge June 10, 2018

Jesus Rodriguez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

.

😱:Jesus Rodriguez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

by InterpersonalCommunication February 16, 2025

Jesus family tomb

Is a tomp found in Isreal also called the Talpiot tomb. It was first brought to the attention of the world in a book called "The Jesus family tomb" by Simcha Jacobovici and Charles R. Pellegrino.
In the tomb there are the ossuaries that contain the bones of a family that brears all the names of Jesus in the bible. It has been estimated by a mathematician that the odds of it being the tomb of Jesus are 600 to 1 in favour of it being Jesus' tomb.
This is one of those things that fundamentalist don't want you to know because it would mean Jesus didn't rise from the dead.

Have you read the Jesus family tomb?

by Deep blue 2012 August 8, 2010

Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.

Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.

by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021