Jesus

My friend who has the same initials as Jesus Christ

My friend is Jesus reincarnated

by catsimp May 7, 2021

chunky jesus

If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus

Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants

Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch

Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right

by Yummy nut February 20, 2019

jesus it

The Sexual Act of physically nailing a partner to a bed through the hands and ankles. Extreme BDSM and extremely kinky. Not recommended for couples in love as the partner could bleed out during sex.

John: "That girl I hooked up with last night is really crazy, she wanted to Jesus it last night"
Dave: "Jesus Christ that's insane"

by onesickmotherfo April 25, 2017

Jesus

Has a huge cock, and have the girls madly in love with him. He never gets upset and loves to watch porn. He’s a caring loving man who needs love and affection. Who’s daddy? Jesus is.

Yes daddy Jesus

by Chaddychat22 November 23, 2021

Jesus

Jesus: A misspelling of; Ye Zeus.

How do you think Plato voted?
Ye Zeus.
Oh Jesus! Better call Sparta.

by Goatacolypse September 28, 2024

Oh lord jesus

When someone does something dumb out of no where.
When someone looks dumb.
When something happens unexpectedly.

Jocelyn: "hey, did you see ally's makeup today?"
Arlette: "no why?"
*arlette sees ally's horrifying make up*

Arlette: "oh lord Jesus"

by issasneak August 10, 2017

Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.

"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023