Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?

"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"

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Jesus Bagging

When your cross necklace repeatedly smacks a girl in the face as you’re having sex

Her mom thinks I’m a nice boy cause I wear a cross… she don’t know I’m gonna be Jesus bagging her daughter with that cross later.

by Julbean13 August 05, 2023

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😱:Jesus JD Velazquez Rodriguez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

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What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.

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person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!

by IFuckingHateEve December 04, 2023

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A term that describes, when your really surprised, confused, mad or rattled?

Bernie: Hey Pev, guess what... Skelator is in front of the house!

Pev: Oh my Jesus Lansus

by Darson Bishop April 14, 2011

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Someone who tries to cram a fresh load of unwanted religion down your throat.

Keith: You should get in touch with God, Kenneth.
Kenneth the Athiest: What a jesus jammer...

by somedude149 May 14, 2014

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