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dick in a box

Popularized in the 2006 SNL short starring Justin Timberlake, this notorious yet considerate gift arrangement is perfect for any occasion, i.e. Christmas, Hannakah, or Kwanzaa. Follow these steps for the perfect gift.
Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.
Step 2. Put your junk the box.
Step 3. Let her open the box.
John: Yo I gave my wife the best gift last night.
Bob: What was it? a diamond ring? a fancy car? a house in the hills?
John: Those dont express how I feel. I gave her my dick in a box.
by B Lane December 10, 2008
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dick hand

The hand a prostitute uses to grab a dick.
This is my dick hand, and that is my pimp hand.
by Michalak October 4, 2003
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dick in a box

1. make a hole in a box
2. put your junk in that box
3. make her open the box

It's a dick in a box, giirll.
I want a dick in a box for Kwanzaa.
by George Ellis December 26, 2006
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Smurf Dick

Someone who owns a Smurf Dick - a cock which has been man-handled and eventually turned an unworldly shade of blue.
I.e Rhys Farley (a proud Smurf Dick owner)
by EdeenSaawr October 14, 2011
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Jacksons Dick

So large you can see it from Mars!
Jacksons dick is so long it won't even fit!
by Jackson's Dick March 21, 2017
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Sunshine Dick

A sexually transmitted disease exclusive to males, most common among homosexuals and Yorkshire terriers, that results in ejaculation consisting of UV light semen and glitter sperm.
MAN1: I really enjoy the atmosphere of this gay bar. Everyone seems super happy and they're all covered in glitter. It's fabulous! The only problem is the lights are so bright that it's hard to see.

MAN2: That's because the bartender has Stage 3 Sunshine Dick, silly goose!

MAN1: Sunshine Dick?

MAN2: It's an STD. It's not deadly or even harmful, but it turns your man milk into light and glitter. Once you've had it for a while, you don't even need stimulation anymore. Just pull out that bad boy and you can frost the room!

MAN1: What if he has other STDs?

MAN2: It's common courtesy for those with Sunshine Dick to yell "Care Bear countdown" before unleashing the happy blast.
by MichaelsABadBoy May 17, 2010
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Chili-Dicking

Someone who's just half-assing their job. Commonly used as a verb to describe the lazy ass behavior of an individual. Derives possibly by a man realizing that he has "chili dick" and stops whatever he's doing and stares.
Quit chili-dicking around and get your asses to the line.

The next time I see you guys chili-dicking instead of working we'll stay after practice until the damn lights are turned off.
by buddhari65 October 10, 2012
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