the paradox

Start by fucking your girl from behind. Pull out briefly and have your hidden friend quickly take your place. Then go outside and wave at her from a window.

Will you help me with the paradox with my girl tonight.

the paradox by Lazlomatic April 20, 2018

The Growing Pains Paradox 

This is when you find yourself staying up late to do something that seems like a good idea at the time, but you regret it in the morning. Most commonly this occurs during television watching.

Commedian Jim Gaffigan has brought this issue to light during his stand up routines. In particular, Gaffigan goes into detail about staying up late to watch a Growing Pains marathon. This seems like a great idea at the time, but upon waking up...Growing Pains wasn't such a good idea afterall.

So essentially The Growing Pains Paradox is staying up late for anything that seems like a good idea in the evening. However, due to the lack of sleep you regret the decision in the morning.

"Uggh, why did I stay up last night watching a marathon of Ninja Warrior? I hate The Growing Pains Paradox!"

The Growing Pains Paradox by Danger33 May 9, 2009

Blanchard's Paradox 

The dilemma that all autogynephilic men must confront: stay a man and remain sexually unfulfilled on account of not being a woman; or become a woman and remain sexually unfulfilled on account of all the hormone therapy nuking your sex drive.

I honestly don't know whether to troon out or not: how will I fap to not having a dick any more if I don't have a dick? It's Blanchard's Paradox all over.

Blanchard's Paradox by muggsymoon May 8, 2022

Zeno's Paradox 

A paradox in applied philosophy analogous to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.

Tenet 1 - Advice or information taken from Zeno at face value will always be wrong.

Tenet 2- Investigation or contestation of any information taken from Zeno will always show it to be correct.

Corollary to Tenet 2- When such a contest is resolved in Zeno's favor (as it always will be) the contesting party will be severely mocked.

Therefore, interaction with Zeno will always result in the interacting party coming away wronged or mocked.

A bargain leather jacket was purchased on the basis of Zeno's insistence that it was real leather. As it turned out, it was not real leather. Forty dollars was lost when a hot fork punctured a whole in it.

But mocking ensued when, despite everyone's doubts and harangues, Zeno's method for estimating hourly television power costs turned out to be completely correct.

According to Tenet 1 of the paradox, if the leather jacket had not been purchased, it would in fact have been real leather.

According to Tenet 2 of the paradox, if Zeno's method for power estimation had not been knocked, the estimates it provided would have been grossly erroneous.

Zeno's Paradox by Piggus McKenzie November 18, 2004

epic paradox

complete mind fuck, if you think about it for two long your brain will explode!

The next sentence is a lie. The last sentence was true.
Epic paradox!

I am a good driver. I am an asian woman.
Epic Paradox!

epic paradox by bearded_wonder22 October 4, 2010

the 69 paradox 

the 69 paradox is the philosophical concept defined by the powerhouse philosopher Sealeft. It is derived from the idea of the sex act in which participants are able to stimulate orally simultaneously. The way of breaking the cycle is through orgasm, providing a means to an end, however since it is impossible to cum at the same time there is an imbalance in this chain. The concept makes this applicable to philosophical paradoxes which are technically breakable, but very unlikely, with the more common outcome in attempt most likely creating imbalance.

the 69 paradox was implimented in "the chicken and the egg" problem, breaking this cycle likely through imbalance rather than a direct freeing from the cycle at once.

the 69 paradox by boi_genius December 20, 2017

Genius Failure Paradox 

Basically a common social disorder in which a person (most likely male) is extremely detatched from the rest of society, due to their beliefs that they are smarter/richer/genrally better than everybody else. They tend to be detatched because they feel that getting help and in
some extreme cases even talking to somebody with less assets than them is below them. People with GPF tend to live
very lonely lives. See hubris, loser.

Ted Kaszinski (the UNABOMBER) is one noted
example of someone with GPF.

Genius Failure Paradox by BFinjected September 4, 2005