boomarang jesus

A person you loan money to and they promise to pay you back, but you haven't seen them yet.
I loaned some money to (Insert Name) and now he/she has become a Boomarang Jesus.
by Dr. Pastor Charlie S. October 19, 2017
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jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.
After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.
by jpeg1024 April 06, 2015
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Juiced Jesus

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*
Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.
by Ulta-Thug MD. June 10, 2015
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Russian Jesus

The man who walked on tanks

Turned water into Vodka

Gave children trench coats

His mom was a mob boss

His dad was a whore
Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD
by Mr. Jesus.com March 23, 2022
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Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
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Jesus School

A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
by Urtletheturtle August 04, 2018
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Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
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