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Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

God/Jesus

Jesus and God are the same but Jesus is God's son.
God/Jesus is our Lord and Savior that died on the cross for our sins. God is the father, son, and the holy spirit.
by Ilove_jesus June 9, 2023
mugGet the God/Jesusmug.

Jesus H. God

A quite humorous variation of “Jesus H. Christ”, most famously used in the 1986 film “Short Circuit”. An apt term for expressing your extreme shock at a sudden turn of events.
Weather reporter: “Folks in the DFW area may not be able to see the April 8th solar eclipse due to cloud coverage.”

Person who invested time and money to travel to Texas specifically for this event: “JESUS H. GOD!”
by Alex-2598 April 4, 2024
mugGet the Jesus H. Godmug.

Just jesus june

Sixth month of Sigma year. If you made it this far than it means you are halfway through the Sigma year, congrats! You mastered your emotions and looking better than ever before and remember, Jesus is watching.
Mike:"James is going to church now?! Just jesus june is doing wonders for him i guess"
by chorbet November 15, 2022
mugGet the Just jesus junemug.

Jesus time

When you declare Jesus time there is no cussing and no shenanigans .
Guy 1: That little mother fuc...
Guy 2: It’s Jesus time.
Guy 1: Ok.
by Hamburgerblobfish May 10, 2019
mugGet the Jesus timemug.

Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.
by Maternal-Fetal-Medicine February 12, 2025
mugGet the Chantel De Jesus: I Tapped You Three Times.mug.

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