Black Jesus

A cutaway gag from family guy that is way more funnier if you actually watch the clip

“I rode into town on an ass

Yo mama’s ass!”

-Black Jesus

by MUGlol69 October 10, 2021

Polish Jesus

Very cool kid known as "chill guy" or "depression god"
Long-hair guy, no-smoke and Shephard lover and not sure about that
Loves life and no smoke for sureee
When they ask me: "Watchuuu doinggg?" I answer: " VINTAGE and I'm good"

Girl 1: Have you seen the new student Polish Jesus, he looks quite focus on studies and minimalistic
Girl 2: Are you sureeeee&watchuu doinggg???
Girl 3: Shephard likes this Polish Jesus for sureeee.

by Lil Khan December 11, 2019

jesus

me, i'm very obviously jesus

Me: Hello
Everyone: Oh my god! It's literally Jesus Christ!

by Unavailable is unavailably May 25, 2022

jesus

the definition of perfection a handsome boy he has beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile everything about him is sweet and kind he’s an extraordinary guy and he’s the person i’m gonna marry one day because he’s my other half

jesus is the love of my life and will continue to be forever

by hehehsjisus April 26, 2022

João De Jesus

João De Jesus is the most amazing person you'll ever meet, when he comes into your life he will be ur highest point and only take you higher. He has a 11 incher and going strong, He's caring and the sweetestperson you'll ever meet, curious about the world and all the cultures and histories and fucken smexxxxy in a hoodie. Has multiple pink florida shorts and even though he acts gay and retared he isn't ( the game part), he loles to work on himslef and fet better and gives back to the community, may or may not be racists, he comforts well and is understanding

He has a beautiful soul and a beautiful at of seeing life and will open u up so many new experiences, he will be the best thing that will ever happen to you.

Jack : " if João De Jesus was gay id hit that"
Bob : " nah he's just a little dyslexic, but he's the best person you'll ever know"

by He's my world March 27, 2024

Jesus

The One True God and The Son Of God (he is god incarnated in human form so he is god but at the same time the way he was born was by god impregnating mary so he is also the son). He is real, He loves you, He cares about you, He sacraficed himself on the cross for you. All you need to do is believe in him and his sacrafice. I pray you will find your way through christ and know the truth!

"I love Jesus"
"Me too"
"Thank you Jesus for what you did for us!"
"Amen"

by rayfire1234 May 17, 2023

Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.

"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ

by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023