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St. Jesus Malverde

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.
by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017
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Jetway Jesus

A mythical figure colloquially known in the airline industry believed to miraculously 'heal' passengers who request wheelchairs or any other form of mobility assistance at their point of departure but mysteriously no longer need it upon their arrival. The sudden recovery is often attributed to the miraculous intervention of 'Jetway Jesus'. The term reflects the cynical humor often employed by airline employees due to the perceived misuse of accessibility services by able-bodied passengers.
After helping a passenger in a wheelchair onto the plane, I was surprised to see her walk off unassisted at the destination. Looks like we've had another visit from Jetway Jesus.
by HappyCleaner82 November 21, 2023
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jesus blinker

by anonymous May 9, 2021
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Jesus

The One True God and The Son Of God (he is god incarnated in human form so he is god but at the same time the way he was born was by god impregnating mary so he is also the son). He is real, He loves you, He cares about you, He sacraficed himself on the cross for you. All you need to do is believe in him and his sacrafice. I pray you will find your way through christ and know the truth!
"I love Jesus"
"Me too"
"Thank you Jesus for what you did for us!"
"Amen"
by rayfire1234 May 17, 2023
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Orange Jesus Christ

Orange Jesus Christ is an expletive interjection that refers to the Christian religious figure of Jesus Christ and Donald Trump combined. It is typically uttered in anger, surprise, or frustration; although often with humorous intent. It should be used when the more common expletive, Jesus Christ, is just not sufficient to explain the outrageousness of a situation. OJC is an acronym with the same meaning and use.
Have you been following American politics? Orange Jesus Christ it’s out of control.
by Blackduck21 February 5, 2024
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Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
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Jesus

He is obviously Hispanic with an uncircumcised dick the size of a tic-tac. He will ALWAYS cheat on you and lie about it. He thinks he’s amazing but in reality he has very low self confidence. He’s a sex addict who will always break your heart.
“I can’t believe that Jesus cheated on me with my best friend
“Why does this Jesus penis look like a turtle In it’s shell”
by Lukewarmlady April 2, 2022
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