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Metal Jesus

The entity talking in certain Iced Earth songs like "Melancholy" (legendary btw.), and creeping into many other supposedly purely "metal" acts.
When Metal Jesus takes over metal you almost might not notice any change in your metal playlist.
by felixh July 2, 2016
mugGet the Metal Jesusmug.

Jesus

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.
"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."
by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Boob Cult

The Jesus Boob Cult is a place where fags share trauma and a love of phoebe Bridgers while drinking Jesus’s period blood and eating his boobs. The JBC is very selective of its members and will only allow the gayest of the fags and the gayest of the straights to participate in its rituals.
Person one: are you in the Jesus Boob Cult????
Person two: yes but I’m not supposed to tell anyone
Person one: WHAT how did you get accepted, I’ve been trying to get in for months!
by JBC is life September 24, 2021
mugGet the Jesus Boob Cultmug.

Making Jesus cry

To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
An example of “making Jesus cry”
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019
mugGet the Making Jesus crymug.

Creepy Jesus

The demon of Jesus who lurks in your hallways at night 😈
CREEPY JESUS IS GONNA GET ME
by JesusLover2028 August 29, 2022
mugGet the Creepy Jesusmug.

jesus chrust

1. A misspelling of Jesus Christ
2. A man who died for your crust
"You going to church today?" "Nah, I'm going to chirch." "What's that?" "It's where you can go and worship our lord and savior Jesus Chrust." "Go fuck yourself."
mugGet the jesus chrustmug.

Jesus Christ the Nazarene

person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
by IFuckingHateEve December 4, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Christ the Nazarenemug.

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