Jesus

A religious figure, who falsly claims to be god, instead of Danny De Vito

It appears, that while jesus was making miracles, he was super high on crack. The church is removing every record of him, and replacing it with Danny De Vito

by Sab-E.R November 19, 2018

Jesus

M0istcritkal

He is Jesus

by Euwua July 26, 2022

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.

I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled

by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024

Jesus

Slang
hay-SUS/JeSUS
1. Fruity, Gay
Used against people named jesus or jesús

Jesus: Hey lets snuggle bro
Jim: Mannn your acting hella jeSUS

by SunRoseGiggles March 9, 2022

Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.

"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"

by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024

Jesus pussy

Used in any context

Mainly used to express feelings or emotions

Jesus pussy, that girl has a phat ass!

by Brenny111 September 19, 2022

Jesus Canastuj

The realest mf. HE OWNS THE STREETS YA HEARD. PREACH FOR THIS GUY CUZ HE A PIMP AMEN.

Jesus Canastuj be balling wit money

by Chuyy101 November 23, 2021