jesus

not real

jesus died lol

by why is every thing taken April 16, 2023

Southern Jesus tug

When someone (usually from a southern state) is to poor to afford an abortion, so they take a cross and brutally beat the woman’s stomach in the name of the lord until nothing but gork comes out.

Me and sally couldn’t get our baby aborted by professionals, so we had billy do a southern Jesus tug.

by I have a PhD in words January 2, 2018

Baby Jesus in a manger

The act of resting a little nugget of hash on top of a bed of weed in your pipe or bong

Yo man, hit this bowl, I put a baby Jesus in a manger, you'll get high AF

by Vice420 November 21, 2022

Jesus Velazquez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

.

Zero: Jesus Velazquez Is The Leader Of Latin Count, Kings, Queens, And Latinx

by InterpersonalCommunication February 16, 2025

Jesus

The thing that suffers and dies arbitrarily at the hands of the Schizophrenic horde. You should be this (so I don't have to... I'd rather be a part of the horde. Or the guy that tells them to do it to you)

Hym "What the fuck? No. Jesus Christ! How about instead of trying to imitate everything you see (like the stupid filth monkeys that you are) you just acknowledge that it was not a good thing to do to a guy and don't do that? But hey, don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor."

by Hym Iam July 23, 2022

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024

Jetway Jesus

When people fake the use of a wheelchair to get early boarding on a flight, but when the flight lands and they are miraculously able to walk off the plane on their own two feet, they've been "healed" by Jetway Jesus.

My flight yesterday had 10 people who needed wheelchairs to board and only two who needed wheelchairs to get off. Jetway Jesus must've been really busy on that flight!

by ahirebet July 23, 2024