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The FitnessGram Pacer Test

"the FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. the 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. line up at the start. the running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal *beep of doom*. a single lap should be completed every time you hear this sound *ding of exhaustion*. remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. the second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. the test will begin on the word start. on your mark. get ready… start."

it's a traumatic experience that is engraved in the brains of many. there is no escape. only the FitnessGram Pacer Test.
teacher's speaker: the FitnessGram Pacer Test is a—

students: *agonized demon screeching* FUCK
by aesthetic_octopus August 2, 2019
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white-glove test

to check for cleaness, dust, dirt
your room better be clean, i'll give it a white glove test.
by matt dold January 24, 2004
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oyster test

A test that can ba administered easily on a person one is interested dating. Take your date out to a restaurant that serves raw oysters.
A. If HE eats them with a straight face, he will have no problem eating pussy and will provide many years of great labia licking service. Women usually hang on to these kinds of guys.
B. If SHE eats them with a straight face, there is a great chance she will put just about anything in her mouth! She probably sucks a mean dick, swallows cum willingly, and perhaps does a few other nasty things your last girlfriend wouldn't dream of. Favorable results equal a passing score!
A. You know Jamie, I like had this date last night, and you know, I gave him the oyster test, and he like devoured them all! It was like so sexy. I like had to have him right away! He made me cum like 7 times. I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend. I'm like getting so horny again just talking about it!
B. Hey Jim, did that girl you took out last night pass the oyster test?
Yeah! She sucked down two dozen and loved every second of it. I cant wait for the next date!
by hanksbeer October 16, 2008
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Onion test

A determination of whether a headline, in particular a ridiculous-sounding headline, would look out of place if reported by the comedy newspaper The Onion, which is known for 'reporting' fictional news stories frequently of the satirical or ridiculous variety.
"SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERTS SAY"? I don't think that passes the Onion test.
by Kaydiv April 21, 2011
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club test

A test that determines if one's future significant other (e.g., future boyfriend/girlfriend) is a keeper. This is usually done on a date by bringing the subject (e.g., future significant other) to a club where he/she is supposedly to get hit on by other suitors.

If the subject welcomes & accepts advances by other suitors and completely ignores his/her date, the subject is said to have failed the test. This test happens in both straight and gay communities; though, it's more prevalent in the latter.
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Friend: So how did the club test go for your future boyfriend, Trevor?

You: He failed badly. We went to this club last Friday night, and a hot blonde started talking to us. Trevor very much welcomed the newcomer's presence to the point that he asked me to watch their drinks for a minute.

Friend: Damn, what a douche.

You: Yep. The club test surely revealed that he's a very low-quality BF material. Ain't nobody got time for that.
by amazingjay April 23, 2013
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knockup test

As in "check out the chick buying the knockup test, everybody.
Wonder what must be going through her head? Yeah, well, since you asked, a family of mayonnaise-guzzling giants is trying to suck me into their suburban nightmare, and there's a solid chance that I have an Eriksen the size of a 15-pound turkey growing inside of me!
by Shisui November 3, 2015
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Roofie Test

A test that you t hought you did well on, but it secretly fucked you without your knowledge
Man, I thought I aced that test, but turns out it was a roofie test all along.
by Puay November 9, 2017
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