Playing possum

When someone fakes their own hanging auto erotic asphyxiation death in order to have a paramedic or medical examiner come and pick up their body. At which point said person would ejaculate on paramedic/medical examiners face

**** you're laying on the floor with a belt around your neck still attached to the broken shower curtain with you pants around your ankles, hard as a penguins dick in a blizzard "****

-Enters Paramedic/ Medical Examiner, kneels down close-

"How long has he been laying ther......(hot load is shoots directly across her face) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!! CALL THE COPS, THIS SHIT HEAD IS PLAYING POSSUM!!!!"

by Chris with a K August 20, 2021

Wash Your Possum

An insult accidently created during a drunken bout at Schoolies. Used when one wishes to stump or confuse the fuck out of their verbal opponent. The beauty of the insult is it has no real meaning, it's meaning and degree of insultation changes as per the victim.
Can be used with variations of 'fuck' in it.
"Fuck, go wash your possum", "go wash your fuckin possum", fuckkity fuck fuck-knuckle fuck-shit, go wash your fucking possum.... fuck!"

Sick as shit tough kid; What did u say to me poof, yeah go on say something... fucking queer I'll stomp your head in.

You; Go wash your fucking possum!

Sick as shit tough kid; What? Bitch come on fuckin say it again

You; Wash your possum

Sick as shit tough kid; *leaves to figure out whether or not you actually insulted him*

by TheParmigianCrew January 23, 2012

The postman

When someone circles the anus (butt) with their finger or tongue and then randomly sticks it in, totaly shocking the recipitant!

Tom loves it when the postman calls.

by kat princess June 11, 2006

Postmans Sock

Used to denote a severely bad smell.

That girl had breath like a postmans sock I had to shag her from behind.

by Youngie1 August 28, 2008

Ugly Possum

Anyone who is an ugly possum and/or has the potential to reach the level of ugly possum-esk.

Oh Em Gee I am Cleo and I am such an ugly possum and no one will ever love me.

by FesterFesterChildMolestr August 16, 2011

Possum

Use to replace the word flatulence, and having to do with all anal secretions. Refers to when your anus sounds like the growling of a possum or smells like one that has been hit on the road.

When talking about taking a dump;
"I have to make a possum!"
"I'll need to use some more possum paper (toilet paper)."

When talking about flatulence; pppfffrrt "Possum!!!"
Also when talking about flatulence; "Did you smell Chelsea's Possum?!"

When thinking about taking a dump;
"Hey Darryl do you wanna go possum hunting?"
"Sorry I forgot my possum license."

If someone possums you can use possum spray (air freshener)

by Zach, Wade, Brian, David September 7, 2008

Mexican Postmark

To spell one's name in ejaculate on the chest of one's partner. Bonus points are earned if a stamp is wiped on the penis and then affixed to the partner's forehead.

Related definitions: Mexican Return Address

It cost me 37 cents, but it was definitely worth it to give her a Mexican Postmark.

by Soda June 11, 2006