how do i get a girlfriend

A question asked a lot by teenagers that can't even take care of a hamster

guy 1: Hey man how do i get a girlfriend?

guy 2: I dunno man, talk to girls???

guy 1: I just don't know how to talk to girls, I even searched for advice on urbandictionary.com!

guy 2: bitch are you retarded

guy 1: wait... bizarre from D12!!!

bizarre from D12: suoper amn video i was in the back

by valentelserhumano November 1, 2022

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I Do Not Want Hair On Lips, Only Left Vermillion Border On Tips.....

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I Do Not Want Hair On Lips, Only Left Vermillion Border On Tips.....

by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim March 17, 2025

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What was i doing again

A question you ask yourself after you come back to your room, sit down and think about what you were doing before you went away

Person: *enters their room and sits down.*
Person: what was i doing again

by MissRubberDuck December 12, 2023

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Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO

No it isn't Jordan! No it isn't! This is You trying to reframe what constitutes belief to justify taking all of that Christian money. To believe in THE CHRISTIAN GOD is to believe that THE THINGS IN THE BOOK DID, ARE, AND WILL HAPPEN, Jordan. Is the Christian God THERE Jordan. Is it THERE and does it have the attributes it is depicted to have in the bible OR.... OR... IS IT NOT THERE, Jordan? Is that A THING THAT YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK THAT THE CREATURE IS THERE? IS THAT A THING YOU THINK OR DO YOU NOT THINK THAT? ARE YOU A BOY OR ARE YOU A GIRL, JORDAN?

Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO! Ok!? So if I don't actually believe in God, then, actually believing in God isn't actually believing in God, OK!? Believing in God is something else entirely! Now... Ok!? You can't just ACTUALLY BELIEVE that God is THERE... You gotta... You gotta, like, grapple with the IDEA that it MIGHT be there! And then you gotta interpret the book so that WHATEVER YOU DO... Is doing the Book! Even if you contradict yourself AND THE BOOK! Right!? See, God (and by extension all higher-order abstractions) is whatever I need to do be, moment to moment, for me to maintain a certain level of moral superiority. So, maturity? Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment. Belief? Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment? God? You got it! Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment."

by Hym Iam May 21, 2024

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Why do I find it funny?

Oh! You don't get it? My symptoms got worse 2 years ago. I have been in agony for the past 2 years. I was in genuine cognitive decline for about a month or 2 before I started using this very specific brand of generic mouthwash which ameliorated my symptoms, yet... The pressure in my skull persists...

Hym "So why do I find it funny? What have you been doing this whole time? Well, I'll tell you what you've been doing for the last 4 years and in the words of our much beloved Megyn Kelly 'Watching me suffer.' From the aforementioned affliction that I suspect has something to do with the hole in my tooth. Agony and discomfort for years. You WANTED that to be the case. And now your colleague got shot and APPARENTLY... I have no choice but to be sympathetic. Right? Not allowed to be sympathetic to the shooter. Have to be sympathetic to the person that fucked him instead of me. IF I DIE TOMORROW... Are you going to enforce that same sympathy mandate? 'I guess he was ill!' Where were you up until then? PRAYING on my downfall. Yet I remain and he does not. God clearly likes me better. If I die tomorrow would you even say anything about it? Give me in death what you denied me in life? Get the fuck outta here! Where's the money Piers? Billion Dollars off The Joker so confident it would succeed took a success contingent payout. It's going somewhere. While I sit here and rub my jowls to try and milk the blood through my skull so I can feel like I'm not actively about to have a stroke for a couple of minutes."

by Hym Iam September 29, 2025

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