Jesus H. Fuck

that phrase you shout when you something terribly unbelievable happens

Kid: I shot the retarded kid!
Dad: Jesus H. Fuck!

by ChopSuey235 September 23, 2023

Jesus Crist

Jesus Crist is a name you would give to a mentally stable young drug lord. They would own a business in Portugal and they would be shipping worldwide.

Person 1: Hey, you're a Jesus Crist.
The apparent Jesus Crist: Yes it is I, Mr Pablo Escobar.

by Yes i am not gay December 1, 2020

Jesus

Jesus is your creator and one of the greatest men who ever lived and is willing to go to the ends of the earth for you.

I feel sad

Jesus is there for you

by fun and game April 14, 2022

Jesus

Jesus is our savior and our God. He loves us God

Guy one: hey man are you going to church

Guy two: why what do you do there
Guy one: learn about Jesus

Guy two: oh okay sounds good I’m in

by Rose1320 March 14, 2022

Jesus

Something you need

Y/n : Hey I just read 18+ wattpad!
Dude: You need Jesus

by Sus jay September 8, 2021

Jesus

Some rotten corpse of a guy that was nailed to a plank for trying to stand up to some bullies

“Hey whatever happened to Jesus?”
“He died.”

by Anonymous#4018 March 30, 2024

Jesus Wept

A gateway band to sex and drugs. Jesus Wept will take your meds and your girl. Virgins and posers not welcome. Comfortably Dumb.

“Man, I listened to Jesus Wept and now I’m swimming in pussy.”

by HoggedOut69 December 25, 2023