The secret shelf

When you are fucking a chick doggystyle, and the you slip an ecstacy pill in her poo hole. Then all you have to do is wait 20 mins and you are in for some freaky shit!

Steve: Hey, did that girl you hooked up with last night night at the Gaff push back pretty hard?
Al: Nah, but then I used the secret shelf and she blew my world!

by Sam Deighton March 14, 2009

Belt On The Shelf

A Weapon Used In Psychological Warfare In The Early 80's & 90's.

The Urban Version On Elf On The Shelf, Used To Persuade Kids Into Good Behavior.
The Mere Sight Of It Drove Fear Into The Hearts Of Every Boy & Girl.

Made Mostly Of Top Grade Leather, Although Synthetic Fabrics

Or Vinyl Was Always An Exceptable Substitute. The Silent Babysitter.

Originated In New Bedford Massachusetts By Cape Verdean People !

" Stop it, Momma Is Not Playing With Us You Big Dummy, Don't You See That BELT ON THE SHELF ? "

by Outlaw City Graffix © March 21, 2016

Jam the Shelf Angel

Jam the Shelf Angel is a departed soul of good. Jam is the counterpart and opposite of Jim the Closet Demon. Jam’s gender identity is described only as ‘binary’ and they use she/they pronouns. They are 7 inches tall (17.48 cm) and have a wide frame with thick thighs. This is also the opposite of Jim the Closet Demon who is described as tall and lanky. Jam the Shelf Angel primarily exists within shelves and does not want or require sacrifices or worship.

Person 1: “Is that Jim the Closet Demon?”

Person 2: “No, that is Jam the Closet Angel and you are showing your ignorance because Jim and Jam are nothing alike.”

Person 1: “Oh, should I worship Jam the Shelf Angel?”
Person 2: “No you absolute fool.”

by Turtle in a box September 2, 2022

i hate it when i accidentally build a shelf

Google humo(u)r

Same for help i accidentally summoned a lemon

urban dictionary wants me to include the word so i hate it when i accidentally build a shelf

by SkyBeetle July 12, 2022

Serf

Short name for a Network Administrator

If you're network is down, call your Serf.

by Tonkatoy163 September 6, 2007

Brooks of Sheffield

In Charles Dicken's "David Copperfield", Mr. Murdstone refers to David as "Brooks of Sheffield." This is a play on words using the verb form of "Brook" meaning "to endure" and David's home town, Sheffield. Mr. Murdstone is interested in David's mother, but sees him as something to be endured, or put up with.

I took the
opportunity of asking if she was at all acquainted with Mr. Brooks of Sheffield , but she answered No, only she supposed he must be a
manufacturer in the knife and fork way.

by The Fool of Emmaus March 9, 2009

Elf on the Shelf

An extraordinarily stupid holiday tradition practiced by white, suburb-dwelling families which involves "hiding" a creepy doll somewhere in the house, for their young children to find. This may seem innocent enough, but the real motive behind this fad is to attempt to control the offspring's behavior through the threat of the Elf telling Santa Claus of the misdeeds they committed under the omnipotent surveillance of the Elf. A adult satire of this is Whore in the Drawer, simply replacing the Elf with a scantily clothed Barbie doll, and the shelf with a cabinet or drawer.

Wife: Jim, did you hide the Elf on the Shelf
Husband: No Carol, for fuck's sake, I told you it gives me the willies.

by bonquequeg March 17, 2016