Stretch Harmstrong Junior

(SHSJ)- Typically a male with medium to long hair and a thin , patchy mustache. Goons to hentai and insta reels. LIVES on his computer. Will message first but begins growing distant after you message back.

He WILL ask why you like why you do, when you ask him to clarify he send back “why you like, why you do”. NEVER attempt to make a joke outside his “humor”.

His “humor” includes:

young children/infants get injured in various ways.
Women sitting on cake
Sexual jokes-especially to people younger than him

He spends his days scrolling Instagram, finding young women to DM. If said women continue to DM him outside his designated Instagram IM time.

Be warned, if you try to open up to him about on going harassment from men of whom are significantly older, he WILL tell you-
“You’re not being harassed, you’re just uncomfortable.”

HE IS DANGEROUS. DO NOT ENGAGE.

Theodore, come home the kids miss you.

There are currently ELEVEN Stretch Harmstrong Junior’s in the world. ZERO of which use shampoo :(. OnlY FOURTEEN can co-exist at a time. Abraham LINCOLN was a SHSJ, especially when he visited HAGERSTOWN.

by Str8OuttaChiraq June 29, 2025

Scared to stretch the ruler

It means your scared to do something because it can backfire on you: if you stretch a ruler/measuring tape you don’t want to let go of it because your scared it will backfire to fast and hit your hand.

When free diving into the pool I was scared to stretch the ruler and didn’t jump.

by Truruuus January 28, 2022

fur stretched

a term used to describe a woman who is going to have sex. A trapper skins his catch and stretches the fur over a board to cure.

I see Jenny is all dressed up for the evening. Maybe she is going out to get her fur stretched.

by tl_terry March 24, 2010

Stretch it to meet the needs of a nation

The catchphrase of Mr. Christopher Jean Hunt, teacher of both regular American Government and Politics and Advanced Placement (AP) American Government and Politics at Camdenton High School. Used to remind students of the Elasticity Clause of Article One of the United States Constitution.

Take Three and Eighteen and stretch it to meet the needs of a nation.

by arson.tm January 22, 2022

dynamic stretching

Male stretching before soccer game and female getting turned on.

Example. "Kruno the first time I saw you dynamic stretching before soccer, I was like WHOA

by Pavkovm February 16, 2015

Mongolian Cock Stretching

Verb: To stretch the tissues and fibers of the penis. The action is as followed
1. two sticks pushing outwards from the body whilst poking into the base of the tip, elongating the cock. It should look like a arrow pointing away from you
2. Continue to push over an open fire outdoors until either satisfied with the progress made or until traumatic amputation

Person 1: Dude, she’ll never be satisfied with me.

Person 2: just do some Mongolian Cock Stretching

by gv_86 October 11, 2025

whitman stretch

this is what the Whitman brothers do to each others buttholes before they go to the gay bar and have a texas butthole massacre. Always ending up in having to get a ride home in the Nissan Skyline because the younger brother has a plundered asshole he gets fucked in the butthole so much that his pink sock will never get any smaller because he has a fetish for butt fucking and the younger of the two likes to snortwalt whitman then give his older brother the New Jersey Coal Miner

hey bro we should go do the good old whitman stretch
before we go to get fist fucked at the gay bar. YOUR PINK SOCK IS GETTING SHIT EVERYWHERE all over my skyline. every body knows that the brothers drive around in a skyline are way to fucking cheap to even want to pay ever

by jc3poopskin October 8, 2011