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Jesus

A religious figure, who falsly claims to be god, instead of Danny De Vito
It appears, that while jesus was making miracles, he was super high on crack. The church is removing every record of him, and replacing it with Danny De Vito
by Sab-E.R November 19, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

talkin to jesus

Someone who is very much under in influence/ very high
Our man really is Talkin to Jesus right now.
by DevilhunterBFMV July 13, 2023
mugGet the talkin to jesusmug.

Jesus posting

Jesus posting or just Jesusposting is a subsection of "shit posting" where you use religious quotes in a satirical manner
-Did you see Jake post that fucked up photo saying "embrace Jesus"

-Yeah He's just Jesus posting
by HenryS June 28, 2023
mugGet the Jesus postingmug.

Jesus Juice

Midwest slang for orange juice containing the drug propylhexedrine aka Benzedrex. The drug can be bought over the counter in the form of a nasal inhaler normally used for allergies. If you break the inhaler and take out the cotton inside and soak it in orange juice or any acidic beverage for 24 hours the active ingredient (propyl) is extracted. Propyl has similar effects to amphetamine and methamphetamine and induces a state of intense focus and euphoria. It is also horrible for your vascular system and causes severe vasoconstriction.

In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.
Me: Hey bro do you want some speed laced orange juice?

Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?

Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.
by danasp_42 December 27, 2019
mugGet the Jesus Juicemug.

armani de jesus

Come armani play with us
by Juliacoolia July 3, 2022
mugGet the armani de jesusmug.

driving jesus

nickname or the act of driving so recklessly that only the Lord Jesus Christ himself can prevent permanent damage and/or death.
bob: « you heard that noise ? »
sue: « no, what was it ? »
bob: « driving jesus got in another accident on the avenue »
by gof August 20, 2024
mugGet the driving jesusmug.

Julienne de jesus

Amazing. Just amazing.

The true definition to the word friend,
Julienne de jesus is not only the more hyper and crazy chaotic person you will ever meet but she is also the kindest most beautiful girl in the whole world. Although she’s been through some tough times her smile never fails to brighten the room. Julienne thank you for everything Girl Even if this seems cringe and sentimental I mean it. Love you girl 💗💗
“Is that Julienne de jesus? God she look’s like an Angel..”
by anonymous June 25, 2023
mugGet the Julienne de jesusmug.

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