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sonia jesus

Someone that has a secret crush on a milf that he knows. Doesn’t have the guts too say it to here, but if Jesus had the chance he would have smashed that ass of Sonia when that leotard at the club was looking delicious that night.
Sonia jesus Marcos best friend really wants to express his fleeing with you
by Soniajesuslove July 9, 2022
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mr. jesus

what peter parker calls bucky barnes because of his long hair
tony stark: meet bucky and steve in the training room in ten minutes.

peter: oh god, mr. jesus is going to kill me.
by mrjesusisdaddy July 9, 2022
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jesus H. christ

The H. stands for Herald

definition of herald:

1. an official messenger bringing news.

2. a person or thing viewed as a sign that something is about to happen.
jesus H. christ's H stands for Herald
by sawrce July 11, 2022
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Jesus (the guy with the note8)

Jesus is a mexican guy who almost got banned from the tomia.ly server and he also got a samsung note 8 that has a verizon rom which gives him nightmares, also Jesus Wants to Sue Verizon

He is also very gay
Jesus (the guy with the note8) hates verizon because his phone is locked
by Arandomtechguy July 13, 2022
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Jesus

The thing that suffers and dies arbitrarily at the hands of the Schizophrenic horde. You should be this (so I don't have to... I'd rather be a part of the horde. Or the guy that tells them to do it to you)
Hym "What the fuck? No. Jesus Christ! How about instead of trying to imitate everything you see (like the stupid filth monkeys that you are) you just acknowledge that it was not a good thing to do to a guy and don't do that? But hey, don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor."
by Hym Iam July 23, 2022
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Jesus

M0istcritkal
He is Jesus
by Euwua July 26, 2022
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Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
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