The Jesus Boob Cult is a place where fags share trauma and a love of phoebe Bridgers while drinking Jesus’s period blood and eating his boobs. The JBC is very selective of its members and will only allow the gayest of the fags and the gayest of the straights to participate in its rituals.
Person one: are you in the Jesus Boob Cult????
Person two: yes but I’m not supposed to tell anyone
Person one: WHAT how did you get accepted, I’ve been trying to get in for months!
Person two: yes but I’m not supposed to tell anyone
Person one: WHAT how did you get accepted, I’ve been trying to get in for months!
by JBC is life September 24, 2021

A guy the church has made look like a superhero to sell people their agenda. What if Jesus was a short fat guy who had dark, curly, bushy hair and olive skin? A guy that looked more like what people think Friar tuck would look like than what Robin hood would look like, except a little bit more Mediterranean on the surface.
There are fair skinned European looking Jews now, after thousands of years of living in Europe, but back in the time of Jesus, a Jew from a part of Asia bordering the Mediterranean was unlikely to look like what the Church described him as, if he was ever a real person and not a myth.
by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021

by JesusLover2028 August 29, 2022

"You going to church today?" "Nah, I'm going to chirch." "What's that?" "It's where you can go and worship our lord and savior Jesus Chrust." "Go fuck yourself."
by Communistically-Delicious May 3, 2018

When Christians want to comment and rely on the concept of karma but without all the Pagan underpinnings.
After Dave yelled at his children for no reason, he got a flat tire on the way to work. That's a little Jesus Karma right there.
by Jayzues July 24, 2012

He is Him. He’s stronger, faster, smarter. Bro solos all of fiction and non-fiction. He transcends that which is us. He is just that guy.
Guy: Bro Naruto no diffs Luffy.
Guy 2: But can he beat Goku?
Guy 3: The fact they all got nothing on Jesus says a lot doesn’t it?
Guy: Wdym?
Guy 3: Jesus Solos in his sleep 😴
Guy 2: But can he beat Goku?
Guy 3: The fact they all got nothing on Jesus says a lot doesn’t it?
Guy: Wdym?
Guy 3: Jesus Solos in his sleep 😴
by Roronoa Musashi December 19, 2022

Jesus a guy who buys his “stripper” aka his cousin Gucci shoes and flies her out to Tulum on a couple getaway
by Bookie602 May 26, 2024
