Everyone is Twelve Now

A social theory describing the phenomenon where adults in American society display the emotional maturity, decision-making skills, and behavioral patterns of twelve-year-olds.

Origin: Coined by Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant.lawyer on Bluesky) as a "unified theory of American reality" that went viral on social media in 2025.

Example 1: "Did you see how that guy threw a tantrum when his coffee order was wrong? Everyone is twelve now."

Example 2: "'Everyone is twelve now', she complained, when in response to HuffPost’s query about who suggested Budapest, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt responded, 'Your mom did', and White House communications director Steven Cheung replied: 'Your mom'."

by patchmonkey October 17, 2025

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Everyone who deserves credit

That's me. And if it isn't me your kids don't deserve to live.

Hym "Everyone who deserves credit and payment had better be me because I'll be ready to go by next tax season."

by Hym Iam November 11, 2025

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Related Words

Everton • Evertonian • Everton F.C • Everton blues • Everton Fan • Everton Prime • Everton Syndrome • Evertonism • An Everton • Laughing at Everton

Matthew Emerton

A person referred to by D.R.R.D.B.B and is generally a posh person who enjoys anime, can be referred to as "Oak"

Guy: did you see that Matthew Emerton?
Girl: such a Matthew Emerton

by Just_A_Definition January 22, 2019

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Jacob Egerton

A person who is extremely ignorant considering the fact that they are of Asian descent. (Please note that Jacob Egerton is ok with this definition)

Bro Asians are supposed to be smart, you are a whole Jacob Egerton

by RainbowishUnicorn1 June 10, 2019

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National Everyone Is Gay Day

This holiday falls on the 22nd of April. Everyone must be gay and send nude pics to all their same sex friends. Penis or vagina must be shown during this act.

Oh my god! It's National Everyone Is Gay Day! You gotta send your nudes!

by ImNotGayButWillSucDic April 19, 2020

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