ultimate sperm

A condition where every time a male has sexual intercourse with a female he impregnates her.

High schooler 1: HOLY SHIT! ZACH IMPREGNATED ANOTHER GIRL!
High schooler 2: Wow that's the 15th time in the past 3 years! That guy must have ultimate sperm.

by Hadvar's pimp January 1, 2012

The Ultimate Porker

When you bang Billy's wife

"Dude I heard you scored The Ultimate Porker!"
"God, no bro, I would never"

by Youdonthavetobeonlyonlonelyfan October 30, 2020

Ultimate Simp

hoes before bros 100% of the time

like a kai law

hes such a kai law

hes simping so much almost likes hes a kai law

hes simping oh wait its kai law im not surprised

hes an ultimate simp almost like kai law

by kais ex bros September 4, 2020

The Ultimate Movement

In times of scarcity, it is customary for a person and their counterpart to share a toilet. By sitting on the stool, legs slightly ajar and your counterpart sitting on your legs (reverse or standard, reverse preferred for increased camaraderie), this allows two people to evacuate their waste using a single toilet, simultaneously. Participating in such a movement results in time saved and strong personal bonds between two close friends.

"Things have really picked up around the office ever since Ron and I had the ultimate movement together." -Johnson

"Well Johnson, your idea worked, ever since our new bathroom policy went into effect we're getting orders out the door, morale is up, and I'm saving a fortune on that extra bathroom plan I scrapped." -Ron

by PleasedPatient December 3, 2019

ultimate narcissism

the act of beating off to your own reflection in a mirror

Bob: Uh, Jake just went into the bathroom naked with a tub of crisco and a can of whipped cream, do i want to know?
James: Ultimate narcissism, does it every hour
Bob: Ahhhh . . . Listen I've got the worst image in my mind, i think I'm going to go put my balls in the garbage disposal to relieve the pain
Jake: mmm . . . such defined lips, oh god . . . yesss

by PikaFan157 January 3, 2007

Ultimate Fiddler

A game where two people (male/female/both) sit on the floor with no pants and hold each other's elbow with one hand. With the other hand they masturbate to the sound of the fiddle in the song "When the devil went down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band. All while making constant eye contact.

The winner is the one who ejaculates the most.

Him: Hey girl, do you want to play the Ultimate Fiddler?

Her: No, but I'm sure Josh would like to play once his wrist is feeling better. He is the reining champion!

by BigVeinyCurvyDick October 5, 2023

ultimate friendship

When you trust each other enough to put your minecraft beds in 69 postion next to each other.

Dude: bro, what if we do the ultimate friendship.

Bro: Dude, i tought you'd never ask

by Papa Myers May 15, 2021