The Beer Gorilla is, despite its size and strength, a remarkably stealthy creature. Beer Gorillas only come out very late at night or in the early hours of the morning. They stalk their prey - invariably, intoxicaed males - with great cunning, folloing them to their place of dwelling.
The Beer Gorilla then waits patiently until all the occupants of the preisesare asleep and/or uncosncious before commencing its rampage. Sometimes the Gorilla will have sneaked in to the house after the drunken humans, and concelaed itself; on other occasions, it will employ its remarkable cimbing skills to enter via an upstairs window, or in extreme cases, a chimney - like a sort of Sith Santa Claus.
Once inside the premises, the Gorilla proceeds to trash te place. Typical activities incude:
- Eating every item of food in the premises and leaving the open containers scattered around (sometimes the Gorillla will order in a takeaway if insufficent cmestibles re to hand.
- Leaving a kettle, or a suacepan containing eggs, on the stove to boil dry
- Vomiting in a wide range of locations
- Mis-connecting hi-fi equipment in an attempt to access encrypted satellite channels without the proper equipment
- leavng refirdgerator and freezer doorsope just enough to ensure the contents spoil
- Depositing turds of gargantuan proportions in lavatoies, then failing to flush. Often, muc work with a spade, chisel and bilhook is needed the following day to disrupt the structure of thse megaturds to the point where they will pass the U-bend, st hey have a tendency to set like cement.
- urinating in beverage containers
- Using an electric razor on domestic pets in a way that amuses intoxicated h8umns, but not the pets involved.
- Arranging items of street furniture (moveable or fixed) in various artistic patterns trougout the property
- Placing a complete stranger, in an unconscious and partially or completely unclothed state, on a couch, floor or sofa. Often the Gorilla will swap such individuals from other locations
they visit, ensuring that when they awake, niether they nor the normal occupants have any idea of how they came to b there, or where their clothing and posessions are.
The Gorilla will also damge houehold fiztures andfittings in peculiar and inexplicable ways, and introduce substances such as floor polish, multisurface cleaner, and talcum powder into the mouths of sleeping residents, then disposing of any fruit juice or other beverages which might be used to disperse the resultant dry mout and awful taste.
They will also conceal or destroy all stocks of tea, coffee, and medications suitable for relieving hangovers.
In the process of performing the above tasks, the Gorilla will also overturn furniture, strew clothes around, and cause utter chaos, like a quiet but extremely thorough Poltergeist.
The Beer Gorilla then waits patiently until all the occupants of the preisesare asleep and/or uncosncious before commencing its rampage. Sometimes the Gorilla will have sneaked in to the house after the drunken humans, and concelaed itself; on other occasions, it will employ its remarkable cimbing skills to enter via an upstairs window, or in extreme cases, a chimney - like a sort of Sith Santa Claus.
Once inside the premises, the Gorilla proceeds to trash te place. Typical activities incude:
- Eating every item of food in the premises and leaving the open containers scattered around (sometimes the Gorillla will order in a takeaway if insufficent cmestibles re to hand.
- Leaving a kettle, or a suacepan containing eggs, on the stove to boil dry
- Vomiting in a wide range of locations
- Mis-connecting hi-fi equipment in an attempt to access encrypted satellite channels without the proper equipment
- leavng refirdgerator and freezer doorsope just enough to ensure the contents spoil
- Depositing turds of gargantuan proportions in lavatoies, then failing to flush. Often, muc work with a spade, chisel and bilhook is needed the following day to disrupt the structure of thse megaturds to the point where they will pass the U-bend, st hey have a tendency to set like cement.
- urinating in beverage containers
- Using an electric razor on domestic pets in a way that amuses intoxicated h8umns, but not the pets involved.
- Arranging items of street furniture (moveable or fixed) in various artistic patterns trougout the property
- Placing a complete stranger, in an unconscious and partially or completely unclothed state, on a couch, floor or sofa. Often the Gorilla will swap such individuals from other locations
they visit, ensuring that when they awake, niether they nor the normal occupants have any idea of how they came to b there, or where their clothing and posessions are.
The Gorilla will also damge houehold fiztures andfittings in peculiar and inexplicable ways, and introduce substances such as floor polish, multisurface cleaner, and talcum powder into the mouths of sleeping residents, then disposing of any fruit juice or other beverages which might be used to disperse the resultant dry mout and awful taste.
They will also conceal or destroy all stocks of tea, coffee, and medications suitable for relieving hangovers.
In the process of performing the above tasks, the Gorilla will also overturn furniture, strew clothes around, and cause utter chaos, like a quiet but extremely thorough Poltergeist.
"Who are you, and wha are you doing on my sofa ?"
"Search me .... the Beer Gorilla must have broght me. Say, where's my clothes ?
"Oh my GOD !"
"SHIT ! That bloody Beer Gorilla's followed us home AGAIN !"
"Search me .... the Beer Gorilla must have broght me. Say, where's my clothes ?
"Oh my GOD !"
"SHIT ! That bloody Beer Gorilla's followed us home AGAIN !"
by Eighth Of Seven May 29, 2009
Get the Beer Gorillamug. A slang for Penis captivus; a rare occurrence during sexual intercourse when the muscles in the vagina clamp down on the penis much more firmly than usual, making it impossible for the penis to be withdrawn from the vagina. A gorilla claw is symbolic of the vagina, meanwhile the banana is actually a penis.
by eugenenao June 6, 2019
Get the gorilla clawmug. by frabrizio November 9, 2017
Get the lady gorillamug. When a group of black guys ejaculate onto a woman until she is stuck to the floor and unable to move
-"yo did you hear Alison got gorilla glued after the party last night"
--"ya what an absolute freak!"
--"ya what an absolute freak!"
by CrustyUncle69 March 2, 2022
Get the Gorilla Gluedmug. The best game to ever be on App Store.
With all the features in the game, Flying Gorilla has been considered Best Game of 2022 by it's players. Having better graphics than Among Us, Flying Gorilla has earned possibly 10 million dollars because of it's graphics and great gameplay.
The controls are super complex but easy to dominate, you swipe your finger. After swiping your finger INSERT FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S: SECURITY BREACH OBJECTIVE HERE.
People also often ask for Nintendo, Sony and Valve to add the game to their game library.
With all the features in the game, Flying Gorilla has been considered Best Game of 2022 by it's players. Having better graphics than Among Us, Flying Gorilla has earned possibly 10 million dollars because of it's graphics and great gameplay.
The controls are super complex but easy to dominate, you swipe your finger. After swiping your finger INSERT FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S: SECURITY BREACH OBJECTIVE HERE.
People also often ask for Nintendo, Sony and Valve to add the game to their game library.
YOOO I JUST DOWNLOADED FLYING GORILLA!
OMG LET'S PLAY!!
Man this trash game Flying Gorilla sucks.
Hands up!
OMG LET'S PLAY!!
Man this trash game Flying Gorilla sucks.
Hands up!
by funny guy with funny thing July 10, 2022
Get the Flying Gorillamug. Used as a promise, and can be used instead of on God. It is a promise that isn't broken, guaranteeing something to someone.
Stan-"Do these shoes look alright on me, I wanna wear them to Stephens 80th birthday tomotomo"
Freddy-"yeah mate, they look great"
Stan-"promise?"
Freddy-"one gorilla"
Freddy-"yeah mate, they look great"
Stan-"promise?"
Freddy-"one gorilla"
by Greg 4 life May 30, 2023
Get the One Gorillamug. The male gorilla dolla has ran out of mates his age and near his age , so he has moved to younger baby gorillas,And has began to attempt mating with them.
by tigbuna6X November 3, 2010
Get the Gorilla Dollamug.