Jesus

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.

"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."

by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024

Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?

"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"

by themagnificentstarfish March 30, 2024

Jesus

Jesus is our savior and our God. He loves us God

Guy one: hey man are you going to church

Guy two: why what do you do there
Guy one: learn about Jesus

Guy two: oh okay sounds good I’m in

by Rose1320 March 14, 2022

Jesus

i fiction character

The bible was such a funny not real book, my favourite character was Jesus

by Sam lampost May 4, 2022

jesus jungkook

Just a nickname. Sometimes it continues to ridiculous lengths.

Btw hi Kii and Jesus. Nice to see ya

#You are not the only one Kaz
#jesus jungkook for life

by iEryka June 26, 2021

Jesus

What my manager calls the church a few minutes up the road from my house

My manager when he drops me home: "I am going to take you to Jesus!"

by Jack Spank9049 January 7, 2023

Luke Jesus

A man who has people around him constantly saying he has a massive penis, whether he does or not.

Awesome Lesbian: You see that Blue Yeti microphone? Yeah that's the size of Luke Jesus penis.

by thebsb July 26, 2020