Horny Cactus

Someone who has intercourse with various people but can’t commit to a relationship for longer than a month.

You’re a horny cactus!

by Clapping Machine February 3, 2018

The Angry Cactus

Forcing sexual intercourse on a porcupine.

"Dan got wrecked trying to pull the angry cactus, it looks like his dick was attacked by a sewing machine."

by Alternative Holes February 22, 2020

Soggy Cactus

After sexual intercourse, the penis turns flaccid and is often coated in bodily fluids, looking like a soggy cactus.

"I can't fuck you babe, I've got a a soggy cactus"

by Ceita May 2, 2022

Singing Cactus

It's a toy that repeats after you, like Talking Tom, but a real-life cactus that also dances.

Person 1: Where did you buy that singing cactus?
Person 2: The store, of course!
Singing Cactus: The store, of course!

by Flanfair August 27, 2023

Cactus cunt

The cactus cunt is the third stage in the growth of female pubic hair. The first stage is a fuzzy peach that quickly evolves into a prickly pear. The third stage takes time, but when in full effect it can greatly hinder sexual performance.

Dave: so how was your date last night? Did you make it to third base?

Adam: I got a home run man, but my lower abs got chaffed to shit by her cactus cunt.

Dave: that's rough bro.

by Plebeian July 8, 2017

Cactus farmer

Slang for a man who likes prickly dicks

Hey she's hot.
I don't know man.
What are you a cactus farmer?

by Dicto long June 6, 2018

Cactus flaps

Long, thin, flat feet

Did you see that guy stumbling around the store with those cactus flaps? He knocked half the aisle down and didn't even notice.

by Flappyflap October 3, 2020