Phantom Friend

Noun: A friend who is always there when they need something but never around when you need them, like a ghost.

Josh: So Kayla texted me at 4 am to let her into the building so some random guy could bang her. Yet when I asked her earlier in the day to look at her class notes she was "unavailable."
Matt: Wow, she is such a Phantom Friend.

by BoatzNHoez April 12, 2010

shithouse phantom

A mysterious being, whose identity and motives are unknown, who insists on scrawling on the bathroom walls in shit. The bathroom may be a public restroom, but is often a bathroom at an professional job.

His brown musings maybe actual words like "hello, hi, or turd" and yet are often fecal smearings with no discernable message.

Who are you shithouse phantom? And why have you selected this bathroom as your canvas?!?!

Hank: Yeah so me and the wife (upon opening bathroom door) HOLY FUCK The shithouse phantom is back again! Fuckin hell, Charlie, call maintanence would you?

Charlie: I mean really, who writes "hi" on the wall in shit?

Hank: The shithouse phantom, Charlie. The shithouse phantom.

by Mighty B October 27, 2006

Phantom Menace

Refers to a man with a boner walking or standing behind people while poking at them with his erect penis.

Damn! I just got Phantom Menaced!

by Pee in the park June 7, 2005

phantom piss

Thinking you need to take a piss, only to find you don't when stood in front of the pan.

Thats the fourth phantom piss this morning. Wish I could squeeze out a piss and be done.

by nameisalwaystaken November 9, 2006

phantom jam

A traffic jam that seems to happen for absolutely no reason. No roadworks, no traffic lights, no car crashes, no nothing. Just a great big traffic jam.

The common driver is often left not only frustrated, but also confused, after coming out of a phantom jam.

by Atomik Spongeface June 16, 2008

shit phantom

when a party-goer uses the bathroom, turns off the water to the toilet (via knob below the toilet bowl), flushes the toilet until the water no longer runs, then proceeds to shit in the toilet.

The shit phantom struck again at Jay C's house.

by Mike B. and Mike V. January 8, 2008

Phantom Roommate

Having a roommate or person that lives with you that you rarely see or hear from. Most common in colleges with students that live near campus but are required to live in dorms.

"Why is this half of your room empty?"

"Oh, I have a phantom roommate. that supposed to be his half"

by hitting the wall March 14, 2010