dirty capita

A bad flu or nasty cold virus.

He sneezed and gave everyone in the room the dirty capita.

by Mama Dish August 26, 2016

Table Captain

THE SICK FUCK IN THIRD GRADE THAT BITCHED ME AROUND TO GET MY GOD DAMN CRAYONS.

im gonna beat the shit outta the table captain.

by That one taco June 18, 2016

Phone captain

Someone who's your good friend/best friend on the phone, but can't be bothered meeting up face to face to chill or have tea/coffee together.

Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.

George: Hey Mike, I spoke to Tony on the phone, he often sounds like a good friend, but yet either can't be bothered catching up or else keeps lying to me that we'll catch up face to face?

Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".

George: What's a phone captain?

Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!

by Fair Care - Care Fair :) October 12, 2016

grab capitalism by the balls

(as a pun/ variation on the Ford F-150 commercial punch line 'grab life by the horns'): one of the many possible English translations of the Latin phrase carpe diem.

as to who may have first used the expression grab capitalism by the balls to translate the Latin phrase carpe diem, I would probably have to say it would have been the 'founders' of modern WASP capitalism, people like John Locke or Thomas Hobbes.

by Sexydimma January 4, 2017

the captain phillips

Based on the true story of the pirates who control the Horn of Africa, the captain Phillips is the act of sticking Somalian weapons in your partners genitals followed by screaming "I am the captain now!!!"

Baby get ready for the captain Phillips I'm gunnna stick a lifeboat sized load of cum in you.

by Snitches.get.stiches. August 26, 2017

vice captain

Given to someone who is desperate to be captain but isn’t good enough. Usually given out of pity. No one pays attention to them no matter how much they want it.

He is a classic vice captain.

by harryglynn123 December 2, 2017

social-capitalist

A person or organization that specializes in the success or increase of other human beings.

I enlisted the services of a social-capitalist to connect me with resources.

by Ferdie Birdie May 9, 2018