closet pirate

a bro who plays your video games, eats your leftovers and lives in your coat closet under the stairs... for FREE!

yo...eat the rest of that pasta before the Closet Pirate wakes up.

by skyskier December 20, 2008

monkey closet

don’t open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood

person 1: “dont open my monkey closet”
person 2: *does*
there is blood

by aceofspad3s December 31, 2021

closet rack

The act of a woman hiding (taping down) her breasts to make people think she's a boy or man.

Hey Bob, Did you see Hilary Swank on the Oscar's Show last night in that low-cut see-through dress?? Man, she's got huge beautiful Mogambos!!! I can't believe that she had that 'closet rack' in the movie 'Boys Don't Cry'! I'm so happy to see that 'they' finally came out! Those titties are truly 'Million Dollar Babies'!!

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

closet sociopath

Someone who seems really chill and relaxed but periodically suggests something very dark or unnerving.

"Jill seems like a real closet sociopath. Every time we play D&D she suggests torture."

by GlueBank February 28, 2017

closet straight

A male who acts and talk as if they are flamboyantly gay but, not.

Hey bro, I don't go down like that. I go down like this. Come on man, don't you have a wife and kids? Yes, it's not like I'm gay, I'm just closet straight.

by Chef boy ar Gee December 31, 2014

Closet Overachiever

A co-worker that lures you in to thinking that mediocrity is commonplace at the office. Just when you think you are both on the same page he or she will make look bad by putting together elite spreadsheets, cutting edge PowerPoints, and insightful talking points at meetings.

John: Where is Lindsay? She normally takes a 2 hour lunch with us?

Jim: Oh you didn't know? Turns out she is a closet overachiever.

by TR DUDE November 21, 2013

closet librarian

one who displays librarian-like tendencies despite their best efforts to hide them; in fact they usually make no efforts to hide them whatsoever.

Niles Crane (from Frasier) is a closet librarian. There are many others who have not yet come out.

by NOTMYNECK August 13, 2007