Closet Overachiever

A co-worker that lures you in to thinking that mediocrity is commonplace at the office. Just when you think you are both on the same page he or she will make look bad by putting together elite spreadsheets, cutting edge PowerPoints, and insightful talking points at meetings.

John: Where is Lindsay? She normally takes a 2 hour lunch with us?

Jim: Oh you didn't know? Turns out she is a closet overachiever.

by TR DUDE November 21, 2013

closet straight

A male who acts and talk as if they are flamboyantly gay but, not.

Hey bro, I don't go down like that. I go down like this. Come on man, don't you have a wife and kids? Yes, it's not like I'm gay, I'm just closet straight.

by Chef boy ar Gee December 31, 2014

closet sociopath

Someone who seems really chill and relaxed but periodically suggests something very dark or unnerving.

"Jill seems like a real closet sociopath. Every time we play D&D she suggests torture."

by GlueBank February 28, 2017

closet rack

The act of a woman hiding (taping down) her breasts to make people think she's a boy or man.

Hey Bob, Did you see Hilary Swank on the Oscar's Show last night in that low-cut see-through dress?? Man, she's got huge beautiful Mogambos!!! I can't believe that she had that 'closet rack' in the movie 'Boys Don't Cry'! I'm so happy to see that 'they' finally came out! Those titties are truly 'Million Dollar Babies'!!

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

closet pirate

a bro who plays your video games, eats your leftovers and lives in your coat closet under the stairs... for FREE!

yo...eat the rest of that pasta before the Closet Pirate wakes up.

by skyskier December 20, 2008

closet hick

someone who doesn't appear to share the same physical traits or language as a hick, but demonstrates similar behavioral characteristics and intelligence regardless of income level or professional status; an emerging icon of the twenty-first century that has caused a plethora of ignorance, injustice, retroactive retardedness across many professions and a state of arrested development in mind, body and spirit; low-quality or the entire lacking of humor; a straight laced, highly anxietic, religiously-fundamental, fear-driven man or woman who relies on the daily news and their perspective church sermons to pat them on the butt and tell them they're good people without having to exert any effort or sacrifice to aid their fellow man

The financial analyst may preach and glut about his latest understanding of the numbers, but deep down he's just another closet hick run by the tricks and traits of baby-boomer Bob.

by chickenclutch November 11, 2010

closet librarian

one who displays librarian-like tendencies despite their best efforts to hide them; in fact they usually make no efforts to hide them whatsoever.

Niles Crane (from Frasier) is a closet librarian. There are many others who have not yet come out.

by NOTMYNECK August 13, 2007