Spastic Schlong

A massive schlong that makes you go dumb once you get it good.

“My babe gave me some spastic schlong last night - I still walk with a limp!”

by mymumabusesourdoghelp September 19, 2019

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Tickle-Me-Schlong

When your girlfriend is asleep on your bed after a long night of sex, and you wake her up by tickling the hell out of her with your schlong.

Girlfriend: *Snore, SNORE*
You: "Omg stfu"
*tickle her with your schlong*
GF: "Hahahahah, wait, wtf are you doing????"
You: "Ummm... Tickle-Me-Schlong

by Mr. Poppaschlong November 30, 2010

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Quim my Schlong

This is a universal turn-of-phrase that I came up with one night in a slightly drunken state among friends, and has gone from strength to strength in our local community.
This can be used as either a good or a bad thing to replace other phrases, or even both in the same line. Can be used in a huge variety of applications...
Note: This does not literally mean "vagina my penis"

BAD: "You're really starting to Quim my Schlong"
GOOD: "hey, see that girl over there, she's really Quimming my Schlong"
CAN BE USED FOR MORE THAN ONE THING: "If your keep quimming my schlong, I'm gonna come over there and fucking Quim your Schlong!!!"

"You're quimming my schlong in all the wrong ways"

by Martin Summerfield December 13, 2005

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Three Day Schlong

A penis that is so large it takes 3 days to completely penetrate a woman during sex

The reason I was gone all weekend was because I was having sex with Chris and he has a Three Day Schlong!

by Dr. Gray October 07, 2011

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Big long schlong

A big fat cock and balls

I stuck my Big Long Schlong in her asshole

Hey bro did you see Jeremy's big long shlong in the locker room the other day?

It was almost as big as uncle Eddy!

by Yourdadymom May 06, 2021

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