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Jesus Christ

The son of God who came down to Earth to literally die like a lamb to the slaughter so that we could have everlasting life. People think he's a magician but how does a magician show up somewhere randomly and heal hundreds of thousands of people from things like cancer and leprosy?
Timmy: You worshipping your magical sky daddy?

Random christian on the street: I don't worship some "sky daddy," I worship Jesus Christ, my lord and savior!
by Faded_Grace07 August 1, 2021
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Jesus Titty Fucking Christ

An expression of shock, fear or just plain surprise. Originating from the movie Team America.
by Polltang January 30, 2015
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Jesus, Mary and Joseph

A extremely Christian phrase, usually practised by white 23 year old virgins trying to become more christian after their uncle Dave criticised them for that car they bored... stole.
White christian: (spills coffee) Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
anybody else accept from very white Christians: Whaaaattttt!
by hello there bye there June 11, 2018
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neverending beard of jesus himself

1.) Pot. Weed.
2.) The beard our savior wore.
J: I got some of the neverending beard of jesus himself.
A: Hopefully it will be better than the last stuff we used...
by Polish Sausage July 20, 2008
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thank Sweet Baby Jesus

A slightly more colorful and Southern way of saying "Thank God!"
Thank sweet baby Jesus my parents are too technophobic to use Facebook.

My last exam is over, thank sweet baby Jesus.
by revolution724 November 13, 2011
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What the Jesus Christ man?!

Similar to "What the Jesus?" but used in times of immense anger where no other words can come to mind.
Example 1:

After being cut off at highspeed on the freeway:

"What the Jesus Christ man?!"

Example 2:

After one walks in to find a significant other cheating:

"Honey this is not what it looks like"

Reaching for gun:

"What the Jesus Christ man?!"
by Rustee John April 19, 2008
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Who would Jesus bomb?

An ungrammatical slogan occasionally appearing on the t-shirts or bumper stickers of those who can't handle concepts too big to fit on t-shirts or bumper stickers.

The correct form is "Whom would Jesus have bombed?"; since Jesus was a first-century Jewish nationalist, the most likely answer is, "The Roman Empire."

"Who would Jesus bomb?" was undoubtedly inspired by "What would Jesus do?", a question best answered by "We'll never know. Jesus wouldn't have gotten himself into the mess you're in."
You really look sharp in that 'Who would Jesus bomb?' t-shirt -- NOT!
by Gahmuret June 29, 2006
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