I'm Smart

No you are not

Person 1: I'm Smart
Person 2: Dude you are the dumbest fucking human being alive, shut the hell up

by SpiritMage April 30, 2025

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If I can make up a 'if this then that' statement then what I'm saying is true

Or Batman.

Charlatan "If I can make up a 'if this then that' statement then what I'm saying is true! It's embedded in the structure of the universe!"

Hym "Yes. Of course. You're clearly not a petty charlatan and a tyrant and you're clearly not using fascist collusion and gaslighting to enrich yourself and subvert the government. And it's NOT opposite world. All of these things are clearly not the case and no one is going to die as a direct result of you doing that."

by Hym Iam January 21, 2025

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I'm starting pro

When you typo the word 'pto' (paid time off) in your e-mail to your boss or co-worker, and they think you're leaving your day job, but instead you are only going on vacation for a couple of weeks.

Fred: Hey, I'm starting pro tomorrow. I'll see you later.
Fred's Boss: OK, good luck with that.
<two weeks later>
Fred: Hey, why doesn't my ID badge let me in the building anymore?
Fred's Boss: So I guess that basketball career didn't work out for you?
Fred: Huh?

by ks5d August 30, 2015

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Not that I'm not flattered...

When someone does something dubious or creepy and you want want to offend them.

Hym "Not that I'm not flattered... But I would like to be paid for that 🤷 I don't think that's unfair. I did always say that I would be narcissistic Superman. And now I am. I am the Homelander and I can do what ever the fuck I want."

by Hym Iam July 12, 2022

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