squirrel nonce

Someone who is such a nonce that they are no longer satisfied by children and turn to the next annoying, chubby cheeked thing. The squirrel.

John: Look at how that squirrel’s tail moves!
Barry: Oh John you’re a right squirrel nonce you

by Reesebby October 1, 2018

Nonce lung

When your lung collapse’s because you nonce to much

beanie sounds like you got nonce lung you need to lay off that noncing for a while

by Weary baskin September 1, 2022

DJ nonce

Hides little kids under the dj boards whilst fucking a kid in the ass to the beat of the music.

You see that black van that’s dj nonce

by Liam Proctor November 15, 2018

Taxi nonce

A taxi driver that slags controllers off, but buys them stuff ie, beer, spirits & doughnuts in return for a decent job

I see that Stephen is on his way to London again with a fare, yes he’s been in the base & dropped off a bottle of brandy the taxi nonce

by Johnb34 March 28, 2022

accidental nonce

Someone who ends up in trouble for a specific crime, completely unaware of their actions.

Blimey Guvnor, I didn't realise. I'm not a proper nonce, just an accidental nonce.

by Duwduw January 7, 2019

Bread Nonce

A person with an inability to consume bread, or any other gluten based consumables without an immediate and often long lasting effect to their digestive system.

Sometimes referred to as 'coeliacs' the person can often be identified by the need to constantly remind all that they can't eat gluten.

'Well I was going to suggest pizza hut for lunch, but we've got Bren the bread Nonce with us.'

by BrettRambo November 17, 2021

Rex Nonce

A bloke called Rex who’s just a raging pedo

Ellis: What’s Rex Nonce doing?
Joe: Probably fiddling kids.

by PenisQueefer692572 February 18, 2023