Dumpster Mattress Blowjob

The act of receiving a less than stellar blowjob from some rando life coach behind a dumpster on top of a mattress after bar close.
Life Coach: Hi dude I never met before 10 minutes ago! Want to cuddle on this perfectly good mattress that was thrown away?
Dude: Ummm, ok.

(Both lie down together)
Life Coach: Want to make out?
Dude: Sure why not?
(Proceed to make out)
Dude: Hey you're not bad with your tongue.
Life Coach: You have no idea! Would you like a dumpster mattress blowjob!?
Dude: Yolo
by Cockopotomous January 10, 2018
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mattress-magnetism

A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.
I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.
by QuacksO January 31, 2019
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mattress lap

An bountifully haired pubic region, usually on a female, with the appearance of a part stuffed mattress.

Uncommon due to the exponential growth of styled pubic depilation amongst the teen and twenty something demographic.
Wow look at that!!

Ya think it's a merkin?

Mebbe, but it is a she is a true Mattress Lap
by Townsman March 13, 2016
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Mattress Mack

A Houstonian legend that won 75 million dollars from the Astros winning the World Series. Mattress Mack is a G.
Brayden: Hey did you hear that the Phillies fans were taunting the Houstonian legend, Mattress Mack?
Me: Yeah, I know. Don't mess with Mack!
by VezinaIgor31 November 12, 2022
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Fast Mattress

If you want some fast mattress you gotta use Tinder.
by jSalty January 12, 2019
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stinkin the mattress out

When you're toking it in your dorm room/basement and it's really dank.
Hey man you smell Adam's car? He was really stinkin the mattress out with that zaza.
by The Borax August 03, 2024
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punching mattresses

something about a car seat
and maybe its headrest?
Will: you should stop punching mattresses.
by xxEnzoxx August 25, 2023
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