News Handjob

Reading news for the sole purpose of confirming your own beliefs.

Instead of reading the NYT or the Washington Post Rob is getting a news handjob by clicking on Brietbart
a news hand job

by Johnny Cos December 15, 2017

Chubby handjob

A guy who isn’t cute enough to have sex with whether it’s because he smells bad, or is weird, or both, BUT is cute enough to give a fat handjob to.

Sasha: See that guy over there? Would you let him hit?? 👀
Jules: Nah he’s honestly a chubby handjob

by brilliantbimbo69 June 25, 2021

Hersheys Handjob

When a chick defecates in her and then proceeds to work your dick until you ejaculate into her shitty palms.

Holy shit man, Tammy was so drunk last night that she gave me a Hersheys Handjob and then passed out on the floor.

by USPFCMC September 5, 2023

Dooryard Handjob

When a mud cricket jerks ya off in some dude’s driveway in Washington County, Maine

Heard ya girl gave you a Dooryard Handjob at ya ma’s house

by TheDowneaster February 10, 2022

floss handjob

Attempting to do the dance known as the "floss" whilst giving a handjob.

WARNING: dick yanking is inevitable.
Side Affects may include: needing a dick transplant, or needing your dick reattached.

ER nurse: What are you in for?
Dude: I'd rather not say..
ER nurse: Then I can't help you.
Dude: My girlfriend tried giving me a floss handjob, and it really hurts!

by sweden2020 April 27, 2021

Muppet Handjob

Receiving a hand job with a sock with googly eyes.

Yo dude, she gave me a Muppet Handjob!

What's that?

Receiving a hand job with a sock on my dick with googly eyes.

by Buffalo Bourbon Lady December 5, 2019

Danish Handjob

A conventional handjob - though not to completion - wherein the receiver alternates between stroking the shaft and painfully crushing the testicles.

I was in my car with my latest guy-friend the other day, and I totally gave him a Danish Handjob.

by Mr Monotony June 2, 2018