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You’re not right, but you’re not left either 

A way of saying to your friend who is sick and twisted that the joke they made is so raunchy and their mind went straight to the gutter
Johnny: (makes extremely raunchy joke that a normal minded person wouldn’t get, then just starts laughing hysterically)
Billy: “Really Johnny? You’re not right, but you’re not left either.”

You're so hot right now 

Telling someone they are embarassed by a romantic gesture that has been offered to them
;Telling someone that they look the best they can possibly look at the moment
You're so hot right now in those vintage jeans.
I think I'm in love with you (giggle), you're so hot right now!

If you’re feeling suicidal you’ve come to the right place

“Welcome to the filthy Frank show, if you’re feeling suicidal you’ve come to the right place” “Fuck you

I'm right, you're wrong, shut up. 

"I'm right, you're wrong, shut up." - Eugene Lee Yang
I'm right, you're wrong, shut up. Stop complaining.

You're joking, right? 

A phrase that is used to communicate to those around you that you are a dumbass.
Sasha: "Hey, you study for the quiz?"

Kate: "You're joking, right?"
You're joking, right? by TheBurntHam November 11, 2010

youre the first guy to treat me right 

A phrase said by someone (commonly a female) that indicates comparison of your behavior with past partners.
Shorty: “Youre so sweet! Youre the first guy to treat me right”

Whos been treating you?