Toilet paper 

What i'm out of right now

oh fucking shit, i'm out of toilet paper
should i use my socks or my roommates towel?

Toilet paper by piebot October 28, 2003

Toilet Paper 

1. A paper substance with no significant use other then to wipe one's feces expelling cavity.

2. Anything written by Stephanie Meyer or L. Ron Hubbard.

Matt: "Would you like my copy of What Is Scientology?"
Trey: "Sure, I just ran out of toilet paper."

Toilet Paper by ballzgalore May 7, 2015

toilet paper 

The person who made that image is right on. I don't know who the crud wants to reach under the roll to get paper, or unwrap it backwards over the roll, but rational people just don't put TP on the stick with it hangin' on the inside.

Jimbo put the toilet paper on backwards. "Jimbo, you are an idiot. I had to stinkin' reach under the roll. Let me recommend a good psychotherapist."

toilet paper by Toilet Paper Police August 8, 2005

toilet paper 

1. A kind of paper you wipe your butt with after using the toilet
2. A decoration to put on your neighbor's house
3. The only cure for coronavirus

1. Wow, this toilet paper is so soft!
2. I toilet papered Mrs. Simpson's house yesterday.
3. Everyone's stocking up on toilet paper because of coronavirus.

toilet paper by bob the brony March 15, 2020

Toilet paper 

The cure for COVID-19

1. Hey what’s that

2: toilet paper
1. Oh what’s it for?
2. Oh you don’t know....?

Toilet paper by Rubyien March 15, 2020

Toilet paper 

Something that has been out of stock just about everywhere this year.

example:
someone: *carries 5 bags of toilet paper out of store*
shelves: *empty*
~the next day~
*lorry comes with bags of toilet paper just as the store opens*
everyone runs into the store, grabbing all the toilet paper they can carry.
someone else: iS iT bLaCk FrIdAy?

Toilet paper by vibing.moth385 March 14, 2020

toilet paper 

Stock or options in a startup company, referring to the likeliness the money will have only imaginary value. In contrast to "real paper".

Person 1: "Hey, I got a great new job, paying $150k, working for a company that makes facebook apps!"

Person 2: "Really? Is it real paper or toilet paper?"

Person 1: "$60k base, $90k stock"

Person 2: "oh, so mostly toilet paper..."

toilet paper by Aaron Startupguy November 16, 2009