Steven Seagal

A very powerful man, one so powerful he beats his three wives for fun. Has hair the likes one has never seen; it resembles matted down beaver hair that never moves, even when fighting on top of a train or running around in the Alaskan wilderness. Currently weighing in at a cool 400 pounds, he doesn't have to actually fight anymore, just wave his hands and all have broken necks or arms. He dresses to kill in all black, which does not hide his bulky ass. No acting skills are required; all that is needed is to have a dick in your throat and be able to mumble "Mission Accomplished". In order to kill like Seagal, you must be able to slide for 20 minutes without a running start and shoot your enemies at the same time, even on the flatest of surfaces. (No reloading is required, your ammo is endless).
Every movie is made with his character having the name "John", "Jack", or "Casey". In order to write a plot for a Seagal movie, all you must do is have him a) be a cop, b) a mercenary or c) an ex-serviceman. Then Seagal must either save a sub, a town, a nuclear warhead, the environment, or all of the above. He must do battle with Columbian druglords, terrorists, or environmental evildoers. Then Seagal ultimately saves the day, and ends the movie with a snazzy one-liner. While the credits are rolling, you could have him strumming one of his guitars, and singing a jaunty little number.

I totally Steven Seagalled that guy; Mission Accomplished.

I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage.

I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in".

by Mandy Broad September 22, 2007

steven strait

Actor who plays in "The Covenant". Absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. Plays one of the 5 sons of Ipswich. Sex master

If only he was Steven Strait...

by tawnie :D June 17, 2008

steven slater

Patron Saint of Flight Attendants

Steven Slater, upon being hit in the face by a customer's overhead luggage, became psychotically enraged. He then shouted expletives at passengers, opened the door, triggered the emergency exit warnings, grabbed two beers from the beverage cart, and made his escape down the inflatable slide onto the runway. He was arrested while having sex later.

His tirade was immediately discussed on the social media. He is a leading authority on how to quit a job.

by Diego Mendez August 12, 2010

Steven Starks

a C- stickbug, as well as a major hoppocrit. Very silly and smiley, a man who is very tall.

oh no it's a steven starks

by God_Of_Pizza June 3, 2021

Steve's Cheese

The stinkiest cheese that is on the face of this earth, though it is so stinky it is still very addictive. Some may be disgusted by its odour but these are people who have no sense of style or drip

Damn this Steve's Cheese is bussin, where did you it cuz?

by Chinky Winky Dinky Slinky February 28, 2022

Steven Segal

1. verb: The act of maintaining your face in one expression for either all or the remainder of your life.

Dude, the teacher's been Steven Segal-ing me for a whole hour...

I'm gonna go Steven Segal that chick.

by Billy Spastic December 9, 2008

steven schibi

Assistant principal at HVRHS. Just like the school itself he is a very shitty person. he couldn’t give 2 fucks less about your mental health it’s all about finding that nicotine and dab pens. he’s constantly up everyone’s ass and he’s always searching people. short story: {he’s an asshole}

Steven schibi is gay.
black men fuck steven schibi in the ass

by stoner bitchassssss December 17, 2019