Skip to main content
Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
mugGet the SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi mug.

Beater monkey

Me: Yo did you see how bad graham looked
Cool guy: He looked beater monkey as fuck
by Beatermonkey6969 August 6, 2021
mugGet the Beater monkey mug.

Beat by the monkeys

To be badly beaten by hoards of individually pathetic opponents. The expression is believed to be derived from an event that occurred to a cutter who was severely injured by a hoard of angry spider monkeys. However, it's also used commonly by soldiers referring to fellow trained fighters who're defeated by civilians...
Poor Captain Jack, he was an MMA fighter but he still got beat by the monkeys when he was drunk at a grocery store and started a fight with some bagboys.
by Zed Numar July 13, 2021
mugGet the Beat by the monkeys mug.

monkeybate

The act of vigorously masturbating penis, aided by either poppers, weed, or both and often at the expense of personal relationships and productivity. So named because the masturbator engaging in the monkeybate is often so overwhelmed with pleasure that they screw up their faces in a way that mimics a baboon, gorilla, or monkey.
"Bro, Chad is so fucking gooned out on his monkeybate."
by Ultbator August 19, 2019
mugGet the monkeybate mug.

MonkeyBeard

A man who has a beard that is made of a monkey. The only way to shave this monkey is with Occum's Razor.
I shaved the monkeybeard and became rich!
by Philip Sap June 14, 2008
mugGet the MonkeyBeard mug.

Monkeybeard

A monkey that attaches itself to the face of a host. According to legend, whoever shaves the legendary monkeybeard will become rich.
After being shaved, the monkeybeard went off to find a new host.
by dannyjenn June 16, 2008
mugGet the Monkeybeard mug.

Monkeybath

A bath that is so hot that when you sit down in it you go 'Ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah'.
I had a filthy day at work yesterday, so much so that I had to go for a monkeybath
by Geordie Paraguay-Remain September 14, 2010
mugGet the Monkeybath mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email