A great state. People slamming it or bitching about it obviously haven't spent more than 5 hours. I was born and raised in Missouri and it is a great place. Yes, there are rednecks. There are ghetto neighborhoods. But get over it. They are everywhere! A truly beautiful state with a AWESOME baseball team. Better than the crappy Brewers (no offense to you Wisconsin people, I live in Madison and I love it) who haven't even won the WS one time. Unlike us Cardinals who have won eleven times. The northern portion is full of big cities with fun things to do and the Arch, which is a national monument. The southern portion is very scenic and home to the Ozark Mountains. Believe it or not (I suggest believing), we are very friendly people. We like to make people feel at home. And also, just deal with the fact that Missouri isn't really midwest or or southern. Who gives a crap? Try walking into Cali and have a nice time seeing a living Barbie every time you turn a corner!
Fake plastic Barbie girl: Ugh. Missouri sux. There aren't any beaches for me to eff up someone on. Plus, I can't get wasted at bars with total strangers. Oh, and don't even REMIND me about the cops that actually care if you break the law. They suck too.
Down-to-earth Missouri girl: You need to shut up. Missouri is a place where people can live and be safe instead of packing plastic 24/7. Us people are real and we don't care if we have an ass or not. We like to live life and have fun!
Down-to-earth Missouri girl: You need to shut up. Missouri is a place where people can live and be safe instead of packing plastic 24/7. Us people are real and we don't care if we have an ass or not. We like to live life and have fun!
by shardeen November 13, 2011
A foul state. It's so horrible; it's full or rednecks and really ghetto people. The state is full of ugly dilapidated cities and people who keep framed picture of George W. Bush on their mantle and pray to the lord and savior Jesus Christ (amen) every night before their dinner of bar-b-qued ham and crystal meth.
The state was partially responsible for starting the civil war (despite what you might hear from the south) so basically they were posers before the word poser came into wide use. They were little toy soldiers fighting hard to for slavery and the South even though they lived in the Midwest so they could sit at what they thought was the cool kids lunch table.
The state was partially responsible for starting the civil war (despite what you might hear from the south) so basically they were posers before the word poser came into wide use. They were little toy soldiers fighting hard to for slavery and the South even though they lived in the Midwest so they could sit at what they thought was the cool kids lunch table.
I was in St. Louis yesterday and I was surrounded by gang members, I had to get out of there....so I hot-tailed it to Kansas. As I drove there I could actually feel the red neck aura of Mizzu-ruh radiating outward and trying to penetrate my clean, sensible Nebraskan body. Missouri sucks so bad I actually had to go to Kansas to escape. That should tell you something.
by The Real Sam! September 16, 2005
Missouri is a planet onto its own. It doesn't know if it is midwestern or southern, and nobody from either region really cares about them. Missouri does have many diverse regions.
St. Louis: Has an arch... this was on their state quarter, and on the cover of every tourist pamphlet that highlights the state. You would think that seeing a big arch that is best viewed on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River is the most exciting thing about Missouri, and you would be right.
Kansas City: This city is known for absolutely nothing to the general U.S. population. Yes Kansas City people talk about having jazz and bbq, but other cities have these too. Texas has better bbq and New Orleans has better jazz... I think more people actually associate Utah with Jazz than KC.
Branson-Springfield-Bumblefuck: The G rated version of Las Vegas, it is without everything that makes Vegas awesome. You would probably only have fun there if you are under 6, over 80, or waiting for the rapture.
Jefferson City: This is the capital of MO. There are no interstate highways leading to it (seriously, how does that happen?), and it was just discovered to be a real place in 2004.
The Bootheel: Ever wonder what that geographical oddity is in the southeast corner of the state? Neither did I, but it is called the "bootheel". No need to visit this area, just visit the website “People of Wal-Mart” if you are really curious about what this place is like.
Rest of Missouri: Farms.
St. Louis: Has an arch... this was on their state quarter, and on the cover of every tourist pamphlet that highlights the state. You would think that seeing a big arch that is best viewed on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River is the most exciting thing about Missouri, and you would be right.
Kansas City: This city is known for absolutely nothing to the general U.S. population. Yes Kansas City people talk about having jazz and bbq, but other cities have these too. Texas has better bbq and New Orleans has better jazz... I think more people actually associate Utah with Jazz than KC.
Branson-Springfield-Bumblefuck: The G rated version of Las Vegas, it is without everything that makes Vegas awesome. You would probably only have fun there if you are under 6, over 80, or waiting for the rapture.
Jefferson City: This is the capital of MO. There are no interstate highways leading to it (seriously, how does that happen?), and it was just discovered to be a real place in 2004.
The Bootheel: Ever wonder what that geographical oddity is in the southeast corner of the state? Neither did I, but it is called the "bootheel". No need to visit this area, just visit the website “People of Wal-Mart” if you are really curious about what this place is like.
Rest of Missouri: Farms.
Bill: Hey let's go to Missouri on vacation.
Ted: Where would we go?
Bill: The arch!
Ted: That would take an hour of our time, what else would we do?
Bill: Shit, I dunno... never mind, let's go to Illinois instead.
Ted: Where would we go?
Bill: The arch!
Ted: That would take an hour of our time, what else would we do?
Bill: Shit, I dunno... never mind, let's go to Illinois instead.
by Flick507 May 9, 2011
We sure do love Missouri. Thing is though, we've never left. Everything youd ever need is right here in our big ole' state. On family vacations, we go to branson. When we need a drug fix, we just go next door and get our daily dose of methamphetamine from buck. he sure knows how to cook it. we have 13 kids and one on the way. aged from 3 months to 30 years old, all with different last names...here we go: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, the twins: tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene. we sure do love our childs, and we have 86 grandchilds. our doublewide is chocked full of people. we also have 19 dogs, 36 cats, and two fish. we also have a new goat. if you ever want to see somewhere beautiful, you should see the sun set over our pot field. its wonderfully romantic (thats where 11 of our children were conceived). need a vacation? y'all come see us now, y'hear?
We all wear matching shirts when we go to branson, missouri & we always have to take roll when we go to and from walmart and mcdonalds.
Jedidiah: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene?
Lou ann: here.
jed jr: sure thang.
Jed 3: huh?
ray: my nose is bleedin.
bobbi ray: daddy whatchu doin?
billy jean: you best shutup boy.
billy jo: im gonna hit you in the head if you dont quit it.
trixie: wheres my cigs daddy?
tammy ray: here.
tammy fay: present.
linda kay: who ate a quarter pound of my angus?
peggy sue: daddy, MY BABYS COMIN!
earlene: holy crap! that doesnt look like the movies,
peggy sue. that looks like an alien!
Jedidiah: lou ann, Jed Jr., Jed III, ray, bobbi ray, billy jean, billy jo, trixie, tammy ray & tammy fay, linda kay, peggy sue, and earlene?
Lou ann: here.
jed jr: sure thang.
Jed 3: huh?
ray: my nose is bleedin.
bobbi ray: daddy whatchu doin?
billy jean: you best shutup boy.
billy jo: im gonna hit you in the head if you dont quit it.
trixie: wheres my cigs daddy?
tammy ray: here.
tammy fay: present.
linda kay: who ate a quarter pound of my angus?
peggy sue: daddy, MY BABYS COMIN!
earlene: holy crap! that doesnt look like the movies,
peggy sue. that looks like an alien!
by Jed & Marva June 11, 2009
The "Quit Bitching" state. If you're tired of life wherever you are, move to Missouri for a year. (Don't hassle yourself with residency-- they give you a trailer when you enter the state.)
If you make it back out, your outlook on life wherever you are will be much brighter.
If you make it back out, your outlook on life wherever you are will be much brighter.
"Ugh, I hate Kansas! There's nothing to do here... I wish it were more like the OC!"
"I happen to like it here..."
"Ew, what's WRONG with you?"
"I was born in Missouri."
"...I'm so sorry."
"I happen to like it here..."
"Ew, what's WRONG with you?"
"I was born in Missouri."
"...I'm so sorry."
by Nurm August 24, 2008
by boylesque March 31, 2010