Great Britain, America's Mother. 

Great Britain, the greatest, the proudest, one of the intelligent countries on earth.
Britain: Invented Industrial Revolution, The Computer, The Worldwide Web. The British invented many inventions used by America.

Britain: America decended from. 79% Of Americans have a British surname.

Britain: Influences America in all ways, America name their cities after Britain. (New England) (New London) (Leicester) (Manchester) (Birmingham) (Redding) (Lancaster) Ect.

Britain: Holds the worlds largest Empire of all time.
Namely Rule Britannia.
As this is fact, I believe many Americans hate the fact that such a small Island like Britain ruled 1/4 of the planet including their American land.

America: Claim they "kicked our asses" in the war of Independence, (Revoltuinary war) but purposely forget to mention that they single handed couldn't defeat us.
As long as they pray to who ever it is they pray to.. at nights, mornings, ect. and thank the French in their prayers they should be fine.
The war of 1812, where the British defending Canada against American invasion. Britain: The winner.

America: Always say "we saved your asses" in world war two. Now...to a certain extent, that is true...but, it wasn't America by themselves who saved the day.
All three allied victory powers, (America) (Britain) and (Russia) were all vital.
Russia defeated 75% of the German forces alone.
Britain held it's own for a period of time and fought off the Nazi aircrafts with the RAF although outnumbered.

Americans attacking from the Atlantic ocean would of been impossible. Americans needed Britains airbases to attack and invade Germany from. Along with further British Colonial reinforcements across the globe. (Royal Navy).

America: Electrocutes people, Gasses them.
America: Arrested for Jay-walking.
America: Pays for Hospital treatment.

Britain: NHS free healthcare.
Britain: spreaded the most populer language on earth.

America: Invent Sports such as American football.
If you havn't heard of that sport, it's probably because only Americans play it. It's moreless a British game but with the body armor and helmits called Rugby where Americans got their idea from.

Americans play Baseball, another British idea from a girls game called "rounders" which is infact Baseball but without the fancy gear that "Yanks" wear.

Britain is by far the best Country in the world.
I think Americans know this and the majority of them who actually do know this, no matter what the arrogant Yanks say, are very polight and respectable.

America: Money, Power, But bad undereducated history classes.

America: Think they're always right when they have the worse educational system on earth.

Great Britain, America's Mother.

Great Britain, America's Mother. by Rule Britannia0116 July 28, 2009

The Great American Pastime 

The Great American Pastime — Formerly Baseball — but now Gun violence must be Great American Pastime because it’s played almost daily, and especially on weekends — adding a new shade of meaning to the term “weekend warrior”. It is not limited by seasons like baseball, soccer, hockey, football, basketball, or lacrosse; and is one ot the only pastimes that can be easily played year round!

Even children can play; it can be played anywhere; and there are no difficult rules to learn. No other country in the world plays this game as good as Americans! And we love this pastime so much that it has spontaneously erupted in grocery stores, places of worship, homes, and schools. In fact so little equipment is required for this pastime that it is no exaggeration to say that you never know when people are going to start playing. No body actually yells “SLAP LEATHER” like in the movies.

And you can only lose this game once.

Lock an load America; and, let’s all play!

Gun violence must be The Great American Pastime because it’s played almost daily, and especially on weekends — adding a new shade of meaning to the term “weekend warrior”. Even children can play; it can be played anywhere; and there are no difficult to learn rules. No other country in the world plays this game as good as Americans!

The Great American Pastime by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 1, 2023

Great American Cookies 

The place to get the best tasting cookies in the country, including Original Chocolate Chip, M&M, Sugar, Snickerdoodle, Peanut Butter, Double Fudge, Pecan Supreme, and many more. They also sell brownies, cookie cakes and cookie cake slices, Double Doozies, and some locations sell cupcakes and Icees. They are way better than their competitors Nestle. At one time owned by Mrs. Fields and now owned by NexCen, Great American Cookies became an instant retail phenomenon in 1977 when the first store opened in Atlanta, Georgia’s Perimeter Mall. Founded on the strength of a generations-old family chocolate chip cookie recipe, the company eventually set the standard for gourmet cookie sales in shopping centers nationwide. Their mission statement is simply: "Share the Fun of Cookies."

Kid at the Altamonte mall: "Yo I only got a couple bucks and I'm hungry..."
Friend: "Let's go get cookies from Great American Cookies. They're pretty cheap and they taste great."

Great American Cookies by Jace555 May 2, 2009

Great American Race 

A tournament which includes teams of 3, a 30 case of beer, an 1/8 of weed, a large pizza, and a 500 piece puzzle. First team to finish all 4 wins!

It is important that all supplies are from the same place
i.e pizza from the same hut
weed from the same dealer
same brand of beer
same puzzle
otherwise others might have an unfair advantage.

All team members must start attempting to finish all obstacles at the same time. For instance, you cannot finish the puzzle then start drinking. Or have one team member focus on smoking and another on eating.

Have fun!!

I'm competeting in the Great American Race tonight. If I die, tell my mother I love her.

Great American Race by magatron February 9, 2009

Great American Challenge 

When a group consisting of four people attempt to consume 2 large pizzas, a thirty pack of beer, a 5th of hard alcohol, and an 1/8th of marijuana.

Dude! The Great American Challenge got us so fucked up last night!

Great American Challenge by Faukin Billy Fauk October 19, 2010

Great American Novel 

What every blogger is writing in their spare time, when not at work, parenting or surfing the internet

"What do you do?"

"I blog about my adventures as a free-lance giraffe catcher, and in my free time, I'm writing the Great American Novel"

Great American Novel by thepsychobabble July 27, 2009

The Great American Challenge 

A Competition, often held at the end of college finals week, in which teams of four attempt to first consume a 30 pack of beer, then an eighth of an ounce of marijuana, then two large pizzas, and then finish a 100 piece puzzle.

Penalties, usually time, are imposed for spilling beer or vomiting.

Variations on the rules exist:
The beer can be a 36 pack instead of a 30.
The amount of marijuana is sometimes reduced to 2 grams.
The puzzle is sometimes more pieces, depending on how long the participants want the competition to last.
Also, some competitions change the order of events to account for the Beer before bong rule (that's just wrong).

Another variation exists wherein the teams begin in the morning, can drink, smoke, and eat simultaneously, and then once everything has been consumed, may move on to a 1,000 piece puzzle. The teams have until midnight (or in some cases, sunrise of the next day) to complete the challenge. In this variation, the challenge is more geared toward "getting it done" than racing and can be performed by a single team of four if desired.

"Hey man, do you want to take the Great American Challenge?"
"The dildo?"
"No, the other one."
"Fuck yeah!"

The Great American Challenge by TFK! January 26, 2009