I couldn't care less

A phrase that emphasises the lack of care for something or someone. Often mistaken as 'I could care less'.

David: Quick Bert! Muffles the kitten ate some mothballs, and now it's foaming out it's mouth; WE NEED TO GOTO A VET!

Bert: I couldn't care less about your God-Damned Cat right now.

by SeanJohn August 3, 2006

couldn't care less

don't give a fuck.

Other: "Oh my gosh, did you hear about Jennie and her..."
Me: "Oh my gosh, did you hear abut the time that I couldn't care less?"
Other: "No"
Me: "Oh, well it's now :)"

by Don't give a fuck December 15, 2016

couldn't drive a greasy stick up a pigs ass

Referring to someones inability to do something.

Most commonly used to portray someones shit driving ability.

Dude 1: "Let me drive"
Dude 2: "You couldn't drive a greasy stick up a pigs ass"

by vkwagz June 14, 2017

couldn't lie straight in bed

This phrase is used to mean that somebody is very dishonest and lies a lot.

As if anyone believes what s/he said, the wo(man) couldn't lie straight in bed!

by definer567 November 25, 2015

couldn't see jack

couldn't see anything

move i couldn't see jack

by Simaj October 7, 2007

Couldn't train a choko vine to grow up a dunny wall

Australian descriptive metaphor.

The person in question is of such incompetence or stupidity they indeed couldn't train a choko vine to grow up a dunny wall. Commonly used to refer to a dim workmate or acquaintance.

The choko (also known as a cheyote or chouchou, among others) being an extremely hardy vine fruit that, left to its own devices, will grow up virtually any surface.

The paperwork's wrong again! Honestly, that moron couldn't train a choko vine to grow up a dunny wall!

by TrajeAUS_ January 16, 2011

couldn't be fucked

when you don't want to do something, so much so, that you, well; couldn't be fucked.

mom: "hey Jonny. take out the trash. will ya?"
jonny: "aw mom, i'm sorry but: i just couldn't be fucked."
mom: "you little shit."

by Angus of Regnulass December 27, 2021