Skip to main content

beached

1. A term used to describe someone that is naive or delusional, while outwardly arrogant and self-assured. Because of this unwarranted self-assuredness, people who are beached fail to recognize their flaws. Essentially, they will forever lie on the beach of life.

2. Also used to describe douches in general; specifically the unnecessary douchey acts they commit.
1. Speaker 1: "Does that kid realize he's going nowhere in life?"

Speaker 2: "No, he's pretty beached."

2. Speaker 1: "Remember when Rich threatened to break Dave's nose over a game of Risk?"

Speaker 2: "Yeah, that was super beached."
by Michael B. Wang September 30, 2010
mugGet the beached mug.

Blatched

Pinning a serious crime on someone else.

"I got me this job one time busin' tables at a country club. So I could case all these big rich pricks that come in. So I pick out this guy, go in one night and do his place. He wakes up and gives me shit. So I killed him. Him and this tasty bitch he was with. That's the best part. She's fuckin' this prick, see, this golf pro, but she's married to some other guy! Some hotshot banker. And he's the one they pinned it on."

Elmo Blatch, convicted fellon.
I heard he was blatched by this heavy set dude, now he's doing a 50 year stretch!
by Jones The Bond August 5, 2016
mugGet the Blatched mug.

Batched

To mess things up or ruin a situation
Well done you've totally batched it, Fuck sake Batch, were royally batched here
by Blaggerz August 16, 2018
mugGet the Batched mug.

Beached

adj. To be so unresponsive, that one becomes almost like a beached whale. Largely due to excessive intake of alcohol or marijuana. See also hammered and blitzed.
Man 1: Hey, what did you do last night?
Man 2: Man, I got messed up pretty bad. I was just laying on my buddies couch staring at the people walking by. I guess you could say i was beached.
by retrokid23 April 15, 2006
mugGet the Beached mug.

beached whale

When you take a dump while sitting on the toilet backwards so that your fecal matter ends up on the dry part of the toilet and not in the water.
Last time I used Gabe's bathroom I left a gnarly beached whale.
by wigwam69 September 9, 2006
mugGet the beached whale mug.

beached whale syndrome

When someone particularly lazy and/or fat is assigned a task in which they have decided is too hard. They solve the problem by lying on the ground and whining/moaning resembling a beached whale. OR when one or more lazy fat people watch a more fit, less lazy person do work.
Example 1: The Freshman P.E. class got the beached whale Syndrome when they were told to run the mile.

Example 2: I couldn't answer my phone because my boss got beached whale syndrome
by Little Boots May 26, 2009
mugGet the beached whale syndrome mug.

Beached White Male

Due to the prolonged economic down-turn not even the traditionally "safe" demographic of white, middle aged, educated males has not remained safe from unemployment due to a dwindling middle-class. Once executive or professional, their employability now is as hopeless as a "beached whale's" survivability.

BMW, for short, it's an ironic turn of phrase. Also known as "Dead Suit Walking".
Look at that Beached White Male over there. He went from driving a BMW to being one!
by Tenacious Faulker May 18, 2011
mugGet the Beached White Male mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email