The most beautiful of all meats. Its perfection is to such a degree that in Dante's "Divine Comedy", the highest level of heaven was described as being made from bacon.
According to numerous ancient texts, bacon is the divine force that prevents Chaos from destroying the universe. The primal gods needed food to supply them with the energy to create everything, and that food was bacon.
Nowadays, bacon can be prepared in numerous ways:
1) Fried
2) Raw (not recommended)
3) Smoked
4) Baked (like fried, but not greasy)
5) Caramelized (sugary bliss)
6) Covered in chocolate
7) Supplemented with lesser foods (as in filet mignon)
8) Milkshakes, ice creams, etc.
Essentially, bacon is the ambrosia of all foods. Without, mankind would descend into darkness and perish. To prevent this, bacon should be consumed once a week AT MINIMUM. Else, dire consequences would ensue.
There is a special place in Hell for those who despise bacon.
According to numerous ancient texts, bacon is the divine force that prevents Chaos from destroying the universe. The primal gods needed food to supply them with the energy to create everything, and that food was bacon.
Nowadays, bacon can be prepared in numerous ways:
1) Fried
2) Raw (not recommended)
3) Smoked
4) Baked (like fried, but not greasy)
5) Caramelized (sugary bliss)
6) Covered in chocolate
7) Supplemented with lesser foods (as in filet mignon)
8) Milkshakes, ice creams, etc.
Essentially, bacon is the ambrosia of all foods. Without, mankind would descend into darkness and perish. To prevent this, bacon should be consumed once a week AT MINIMUM. Else, dire consequences would ensue.
There is a special place in Hell for those who despise bacon.
A) The true reason that the Romans destroyed Jerusalem in the late 1st century CE was that the Jewish people refused to accept the Romans' gift of divine bacon.
B) "When you can't have sex, have bacon. When you can't have bacon, cry." -Every sane human. Ever.
C) Bacon is to meats as badonkadonk is to female anatomy.
B) "When you can't have sex, have bacon. When you can't have bacon, cry." -Every sane human. Ever.
C) Bacon is to meats as badonkadonk is to female anatomy.
by BarryGoldwater November 07, 2012
We were baconing all last night.
Mary was baconing instead of doing her homework.
As the earth was being attacked by aliens, Jimmy was completely fine because he was baconing.
Stan was caught baconing alone by his wife.
Mary was baconing instead of doing her homework.
As the earth was being attacked by aliens, Jimmy was completely fine because he was baconing.
Stan was caught baconing alone by his wife.
by rgg April 11, 2012
this is the tasty treat that comes from the loveable animal the pig. bacon is good for everybody. it helps you store fat for the winter and is full of protein.
by ZachiZZo November 29, 2003
by Lord Jack February 05, 2008
Totally, amazingly stoned. When "baked" just won't do, because it's not like being in an oven. And when "stoned" just makes you feel like the victim of medieval punishment. And "high" reminds you that you're afraid of heights. But you've really smoked the good stuff - you're "baconed". Because what could be better than bacon?
by sean_p November 11, 2009
when put between 2 slices of bread with some sauce, it becomes lifes greatest pleasures.
it can also cure hunger, and it can stop war - if they used it as a weapon.
it can also cure hunger, and it can stop war - if they used it as a weapon.
by burkland February 14, 2004
The greatest person in the world. Also known as Baekhyun. He's the sweetest guy ever. He is married to Chanyeol and they sail the happiest ship next to HunHan.
by OhMyBacon September 11, 2012