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doesn't love the Lord and Southeastern Conference football 

An ironic expression used by Southern males to express disbelief in or mild condemnation of some else's attitudes or behavior, supposedly drawing on some stereotypes of Southerners. (This expression possibly originated with Lewis Grizzard, a most excellent American humorist and commentator.)
Billy Bob eats strawberry Moon Pies and drinks Pepsi; only someone who doesn't love the Lord and Southeastern Conference football would do that.
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The-ball-game-that-isnt-football-or-dodgeball-that-the-hopeless-people-play-during-games-where-they-body-people-and-tell-them-to-fuck-off 

The game that isn't quite like any other ball game and is usually played by people who aren't good at other sports. Usually played by a small group of kids, generally unsupervised.
Today I played the-ball-game-that-isnt-football-or-dodgeball-that-the-hopeless-people-play-during-games-where-they-body-people-and-tell-them-to-fuck-off during PE class.

The Ohio State University Buckeyes Football Program 

argueably the best college football program in the big ten (and one of the best in the NCAA). They fairly frequent the big ten championship spot and are rarely ranked outside the top 25 spots. They have several national championship titles under their belt as well as seven heisman trophies from six players (Archie Griffen won two). Their current head coach Jim Tressel plays a conservative style of football deemed Tressel-Ball by most. Their fans pride themselves on being absolutely loyal to their team and being obnoxious toward other teams. In recent years, their rivals the University of Michigan Wolverines haven't even posed a threat.
Person 1: I love The Ohio State University Buckeyes Football Program.

Person 2: Me Too.

he grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football 

Rugby is much rougher then football so the way he grabbed his hair made him understand the difference.
"He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football." - Red, White & Royal Blue

The Foosball Kid 

A Foosball Player of Legendary status. This player has pale skin, blonde hair, and often only gives credit to him or herself even when their teammates score a goal. This player also hates players who spin, and possesses the skills to act as a referee even when they are playing. Their extreme Foosball talent often drives them to insanity, which leads them to be seen giggling to themselves when not at the table. Also known as the "Albino Thunder".
Player A: Man, Jack acts like he's the Foosball Kid.
Player B: Yeah...they don't call him Albino Thunder for nothing!
The Foosball Kid by SizzlinSalmon January 11, 2013