The ultimate sex being
His man gun can grow up to the size of the earth core but he prefers not to since inflated dicks attract the attention of more hoes than a joao needs
He's not greedy for hoes, despite the overwhelming amount he pulls on a daily basis
Some call him the unrivaled being
Lisa: Hey.. are you seeing this handsome guy? I really want him to smash my cheeks
Most perfect guy you can imagine, with a KILLER voice that will MELT YOU, and a laugh that will make you smile for the whole day non stop. Warning: your smiling muscles will hurt when talking to Joao.
He's open minded and will stay up late at night talking with you until 6am about EVERYTHING (will make your heart almost explode). Can't forget the athletic body with the fluffy eboy hair too, 10 out of 10 if you ask me. If you find a Joao you also get unlimited cuddling. In the Joao-package you also get his dog, so extra dog cuddles as well. Not bad not bad. Only thing that sucks about a Joao is that he lives so goddamn far away.
Kristina: Damn, the other day I met this Joao with a big booty who booty-slammed my iPad and broke it. Worth it.
Other person: Daaaaaaaaayum that boy got ass. You think he can booty-slam my face as well?