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Hoboken Squat Cobbler

The act of someone in costume sitting on a pie and wiggling around. It is a sexual fetish and may involve crying.

Taken from Season 2 / Episode 2 of Better Call Saul
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: snorts You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by zednotzee June 5, 2016
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hobo

"I'm not a vagrant... I'm a hobo. Big difference."

"Maybe you'll end up like me, a hobo with a shotgun."
by natalie portmanteaux January 27, 2021
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Related Words

hobo pussy

The five o'clock shadow that occurs not too long after a girl shaves her pussy.
Man, my face is all chafed from going down on this girl with hobo pussy.
by Beef Cannon Bill October 14, 2011
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Hobocaine

A questionable white powdered substance usually purchased from a shifty character, stereotypically homeless. When consumed users experience a slight buzz followed by: nausea, paranoia, a need to shit & in worst case scenarios a urge to become homeless.
Antonym: Primo
Mac: sniff, sniff “Ah shit, it’s hobocaine”
Mitch: sniff, sniff “I don’t feel so good.”
Mac: “ I think I might sleep rough tonight.”
by S.Squelch January 7, 2020
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hobotang

An able-bodied freeloader. A capable person who nonetheless behaves like a hobo.

(As made popular by the Walking the Room podcast, featuring Greg Behrendt and Dave Anthony)
The hobotang next door keeps stealing oranges from our neighbor's tree.

Hobotang dad wasn't feeling well, so his wife drove the car home after she gave birth.
by randallion June 2, 2011
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hobocumphobia

The fear of a homeless person ejaculating on you whilst you sleep.
Ron: So why can't you sleep on the subway again?
Greg: I already told you, bro! I have hobocumphobia!
by RonnieBoy October 18, 2010
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Hobo milk

Fluid harvested from a homeless man via squeezing and mouth-to-mouth.
Hey man did you get any Hobo milk?

Nah sorry man, I couldn't find any hobos.
by THICCBOITIZZLE April 17, 2019
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